I too am not 'experienced' but I offer my observations any way, cuz I'm like that
I find that I struggle with feeling selfish and demanding after the fact. I melt and cannot focus on anything but the sensations he plays out on my body when he does certain things to me...I found this very troubleing, and still do a bit I guess...

But, I asked him about it. He reassured me that *having* that effect, that control is what satisfies him, for the most part. If he desires something more specific, all he need do is tell me what he wants.

I sometimes have trouble 'accepting' my responses, after we play. He seems more tuned into my residual feelings than I am sometimes...Things, emotions I've learned to just brush off, he forces me to deal with. And that's an amazing and wonderful gift. If something is emotionally challenging for me, I'll tend to swallow the frustration if left alone. He is relentless in insisting that I let out whatever the emotion is. It is uncomfortable for me, but so much healthier...

Is it possible that your Domme, being as new to her role as you are to yours, might need to learn *how* to bring you back to ground without allowing you to assigne blame? This sounds so simple that I cringe in posting it, however in my experience, it's the glue that holds me together after he breaks me, and keeps me coming back for more from Him.