Very worried that current bdsm is caused by past abuse

[Kaori-san]

Karori-san. I think that this is one of the reasons for this page. And if it isn't or wasn't, well so what.

Thanks

[kinkeeamee22]

back when i first started having sexual relations, i didnt understand what all the hype was about sex. sure it felt good, for like a minute. and the thrill of being caught was kinda cool, but i just didnt understand it. Even with people i cared for, and thought I loved, it was just an act. I wanted it to mean something, be more than just something to do. When me and my now husband started with some light bondage it was something i would look forward to, it was more than just sex, it was being able to trust someone so completely that you could submit to them. There was a meaning in it for me. So, i think that yea, abuse could have led you down this road, but not in a bad pyscological (spelling is so wrong eh?) way. Think its just your way of letting someone you love know that you can trust them that much. Abuse henders up the trust issue. You trust someone not to hurt you, so you let your significant other take control to work out your trust issues...that make sense? because someone broke ur trust once with abuse, you put yourself forward testing trust with your bdsm life kind of.
im just rambling now...lol
thats just my 2 cents.

[Sweep]

I'm a Dom and I've always been that way.

I recall being in primary school and fantasizing how delightful it would be to see a girl in my class caned on the bare bum.

My childhood was normal and not subject to any excesses. I remember getting into serious trouble on one occasion when I described my fantasy to another student who told everyone. After that I've learnt to keep my feelings to myself.

I'm sure that the nature and nurture debate rages in this area of psychology as much as everywhere else - but there are certainly some who are born wired up with this sexual preference.

[Movito]

Began with a fetish for masks and black clothes when I was thirteen. Went over to dreams of bondage with 20, and found BDSM with 28.

I find a lot of possible reasons in my childhood (family was good, but all the rest...). Today only one thing is important: it is part of myself, nobody can change it, and I like to be as I am.

My opinion of what the reasons are: human beings have the instinct to play. Playing helps to learn, to prepare for difficult dangerous situations. SM-people play the things they fear (or have once feared) most. Together with sexuality, it becomes addictive.

Note: that is only a theory, completely grown on my own rubbish, so nobody else is responsible for it.

[miss duece]

honestly this thread has shaken my view a bit as there are many stories of members suffering from past abuse. based on my local bdsm community i've gain the perspective that the majority of people involved in bdsm came from normal stable childhood backgrounds, but eh, now i'm not so sure. i was never abused as a child, but i had my rebellious moments, which is totally normal for anyone. there's so much theories as to why people with past abuse being drawn to bdsm. but what about us folks with more calmer backgrounds? are we just drawn to it because of taste or is there something more?