Feelings for people are part of life. There are some who think that BDSM should never involve them, but they tend to be people who have emotional problems themselves.

I would suggest that you either do what you did, i.e. step back and stop playing. Or perhaps look at your position on poly relationships. I would have told you that is was a bad thing to be in a poly relationship before I got involved like I did, but if I still held that line I would be no where near as happy as I am now.