Welcome to the boards I think you'll find lots of friends here, and it is a fantastic atmosphere and group of people for discussing your feelings and trying to find your way forward.

No, you are not crazy. I think we all remember what an emotional whirlwind it was when we first discovered this stuff. Just make sure to learn as you go, and not to jump into anything high-risk without research and practice. Take it slow, and have fun

I think you will like it here