and its a new computer...geez

and i have lost anything i wrote previous and there will be missing poetry and some missing journal as i was asked not to write certain things in my journal even.

Here are some poems;

Journal by poetry…
All material copywrit by owner

Untamed 02/21/04

I manically beat with tarnished cane
meaningful words
shattered insane
denying doggerel balms
shame, self-blame
I became
a skeleton on wasted plains
parched from infertile rains
wheezing life inane
to unbalanced
thrashing wind-storms
of scattered bloodstains
passion unkempt
thirsting flames
quickly extinguished,
lacking…
wane

then you came
decanting dew drops
with sagacious sashay
bathing altruistically
desiccated pains
your lips ingrained
moist renewal
tender first
flooding, ravenous
ravaging
and remained
wetting fervor
gripping my name
I, enthralled
cast the other side of sane
quivering emotions
a shivering seascape
in your arms…
untamed.



Your intensity 03/09/04

entangled
trembling
with each swing of air
lashing sensitive skin
licking intensity
tease of leather
ragged hesitation
a second before
you reign sweetened kisses
of your control
over me
sending my soul
into twisting summersaults
hair twining toes
fear bound
silenced
breathless
climbing joy
I cling
before
you show me
how to fly
free



Trembling weak 03/14/04

potent eyes penetrate
extracting vulnerability
as you pierce my heart
then charge forward
to clench surrendered cries
in your fist
holding fierce

not letting me hide
deny
detain
dissolve within

heart levitating
escalating wide
cavernous eternity
breath bare
a gasped echo
yielding, exposed
succumbing sheer sensation
beating absolute harmony

fearing what i show
afraid of what you seek
another orifice found
aroused
and left trembling weak


Untouch me 03/16/04

a journey
of mind and sensation
where you touched
and still seek
beyond
granite, chiseling
a formation of heart
that once was mine
as a child

under rubble
you speak,
it is still beating,
writhing
thriving
to break free,
but i deny

i am not yours
nor will i be,
’tis not my destiny

that i can love
and love you

is freedom
beyond mind
but do not touch me
there,
it is not my place in life
to feel


Where is she? 03/22/04

A headache without pain
but confusion throbbing
and heart torn asunder,
a shudder of held back
white water rapids before
a frothing dammed forced fall
into echoing emptiness
and swirling fog
leaking through fissures…
condensation of core

A whore washed ashore
leftovers of before
contained self-abhorred
still alive, not yet absorbed
into gritted grain.

Where is the thunder
of a beat that once sung sure
sweltering of compose
suspended, facing
exhaled misted azure?

Pain without screaming
gaped open wide,
torrential cascading
curling in self-defense
of fetal position
bearing the belting
rendering mind mindless,
mimed and undefined
yet confined
in a straight jacket of
reasonless rhyme

Scruffy, soiled, decomposed,
a scarf frayed and thread bared,
scattered pieces of uncared,
alienated, unprepared
to embrace again.

Where is the fluttering of
wing-tips on budding leaves,
the spring in ones smile
singing I know, I see,
I believe?



Haiku 04/11/04

tiny buds layered
white lilac tree sprouting
a fresh new chance



Staying Time 04/11/04

He speaks with such I understand
taming ocean and feral land
singing prose, same felt compose
he knows
I fear he knows

yearning deep in coral keeps
treasure moans and sifts soft sand
shipwrecks settle and sighing sleep
lightness darkened on command

forests tangle rustling rage
of passion wild, controlled then caged
leashed, unleashed with thrashing rains
electric storms, carnal, ingrained
he bites, i arc, he stands, i kneel
his touch, my soul, his song, my seal.

He speaks with such I comprehend
unleashed passion, unfettered ends
a masterpiece, ferocious song
a symphony clashing, echoes long
two as one, breathes combine
ravaged heartbeats staying time



Only 04/13/04

gilded stake thrust
through my heart
shattering existence,
steadfast
sliced
suspended with
no reason,
halting aged consistency

fixed,
fettered embodiment,
no width of writhe
scraped breath
shrouded being,
faceless
enslaved
shackled soul,
stubborn impasse
of mind

I struggle
fervent,
fierce,
defying you,
denying me
riotous desperation
unruly
yet
deeply dreaming
and revealing,
seeing
you gently
reach,

you
wanted to touch me
only



Counting Strokes 04/19/04

my ass burned
twisted and turned
seared by you

lashed fiery red
black and blue
your whips hissing
kissing
licking flames
of your name
ingrained
into me

then the touch
of your tongue
blazed
with same
intensity
making me beg

gasped and rutting
as you teased
clit to slit
with your cock
just a poke
not too deep
then so slow
sliding in

yes I begged
and will do
many times
again
to fuck deep and hard
my cunt
to bruise it too

grunting please
nails knit and squeeze
pushing back
moaning begs
repeat
Sir more
use your whore
fuck my ass
deep
hard
please

take all of me
with the heat of your beat
strike of cane
throb of paddle
you say my name
another stroke
counting insane

may i please count
backwards for you?


And a bit later he did make me count backwards for him. It was so beautiful he would do this and doing this.