A plea for guidance

[jeanne]

You were all so kind to reply - in return, here's the update.

We're on a break. A D/s break I mean. No D, no /s, just vanilla. This was actually my suggestion - I realized today that my asking him to do this could be construed as telling him that he's not good enough, just the way he is. And he is good enough. He's a good man, who loves me, who doesn't seem to be wired the way I'd like now! And each time I ask for more, more of what he doesn't quite see the appeal of, I disrespect him and put him down, just by asking. Not who I want to be. Not as a wife, not as a submissive.

We've agreed to revisit the issue in a couple of months. Reopen discussion after he's had some real time to think. To tell the truth, I think we're probably done with D/s as a couple. His lack of protest at my suggestion is telling.

Am I still submissive? Yes, absolutely, I have no doubt in my mind about that. So what to do? Read, write, masturbate (a lot), hang around here trying not to cause trouble. When I have one of those "poor me", whiny days, (and I will) please feel free to stride to whatever thread I'm in and tell me to "suck it up". I prefer a whisper, harsh and low, right in my ear, by the way.

Feeling better and doing the right thing for my husband,
jeanne

[tessa]

We've agreed to revisit the issue in a couple of months. Reopen discussion after he's had some real time to think.

I know how upsetting this must be for you. I think you'll be doing the quietly-upset thing, but still, not what you wanted for your relationship. ~hugs~

To tell the truth, I think we're probably done with D/s as a couple. His lack of protest at my suggestion is telling.

Ok, it's understandable that you would take this stance right now. It's how you feel about the situation (feel deeply about, I imagine), and as I see it for you, maybe it's s bit of a defense mechanism? You're trying to prepare yourself for what might be despite what you desire?

Just try to keep a tiny glimmer of hope flickering away somewhere inside, okay?

~hugs again~
tessa

[jeanne]

You're trying to prepare yourself for what might be despite what you desire?

Just try to keep a tiny glimmer of hope flickering away somewhere inside, okay?

~hugs again~
tessa

Yes, I will. Thanks, tessa, you're a valued friend.

Well, happy and loved, what more could I need?
jeanne