Honestly, I've been so confused by Cream's changes in name and online/eye-to-eye relationships that I wasn't quite clear about how her orientation had tilted a bit, but still would feel the best way for you to get a grip on this - sub?switch? Dominant? - at this point, is to try out for real what it's like to be a 24/7 subbie/slave since that seems to be an idea with a good pull on you. Even if you get bruises and feel bowled over sometimes you'll have learnt something vital.
Very good that you'll remain in touch with your family, too.