Collarings

[Master514]

OK. I thought I was talking to slaves or submissives. Turns out it was doormats. My mistake.

[BDSM_Tourguide]

OK. I thought I was talking to slaves or submissives. Turns out it was doormats. My mistake.

Your mistake indeed. Allow me to elaborate.

What kind of a "dominant" doesn't make use of the resources and tools at his disposal? Is not the submissive also a resouce to be used to perform services and tasks? Would you not, for instance, ask your submissive to wash your laundry? If so, then why wouldn't you also ask her to look a few things up online for you if you didn't have the time to do it yourself?

And what part of a submissive taking the initiative to perform assigned tasks without complaint and with a clean grasp of the information she is required to fetch constitutes her "being a doormat?" I would tend to think that a "dominant" who take it upon himself to look for his own information and decide for himself whether or not to dissminate that information to his submissive is doing more to make his submissive into a doormat than he would by giving her simple chores like this one to do. What? Is she too fucking stupid to look up the information on her own? Does the little woman not have the intellect to perform those "higher brain" tasks? Or is she only good for fucking, sucking and occasionally giving handjobs?

Give me a break. Fucking stupid, yes. Mistake, indeed. Doormats? Hardly.

:bigdump:

[His_pita]

OK. I thought I was talking to slaves or submissives. Turns out it was doormats. My mistake.

:blahblah: You are so clever.



Good post TG

[her_Joe]

I'm not sure why people are giving this poster credibility. BDSM is open to a wide range of tastes and intellects, but that does not mean that we do not have basic requirements that distinguish dominants from bullies and submission from weakness. I don't want to dignify assaults that come from simple-minded arrogance.

Submissive Wife's question was appropriate and I can recommend two sites where I found a lot of help in finding interesting "jewelry" and information on contracts -- Roxanna at "TieMeUp" has lovely things and good service; "SubmissiveLoving" has some well thought out ideas on contracts. (Not better than what has been recommended, just another perspective.)

her_Joe

[submissivewife]

I'm not sure why people are giving this poster credibility. BDSM is open to a wide range of tastes and intellects, but that does not mean that we do not have basic requirements that distinguish dominants from bullies and submission from weakness. I don't want to dignify assaults that come from simple-minded arrogance.

Submissive Wife's question was appropriate and I can recommend two sites where I found a lot of help in finding interesting "jewelry" and information on contracts -- Roxanna at "TieMeUp" has lovely things and good service; "SubmissiveLoving" has some well thought out ideas on contracts. (Not better than what has been recommended, just another perspective.)

her_Joe

her_Joe, thank you for your post. You are right too. Why should anyone be posting because of Master514's asinine statements? Let's move on to what this thread was posted for: Collarings! If anyone else has real input and suggestions I would be happy to convey them to my Master.

submissivewife

[Ruby]

Hi Submissivewife,

As you search for collaring ceremonies and plan to the future, I wish you the best. The ceremony itself can be as simple or elaborate as you desire. Alone or with a group of friends watching, it's whatever you and your man want it to be.

You might find this link usefull:
http://www.collarchat.com/merging_we..._162840/tm.htm

I recently collared my pet, Nathaniel. We created vows that are simple and work for both of us. We may change them as we see fit. Here is what we are using for now.

Ruby's vows to Nathaniel,

"Nathaniel, my sweet angel, son of God and man, I, Ruby, daughter of the Goddess and Eve, lifemate and pet to T, offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths to be your champion, miss, friend and lover. I will help you when you need help and will turn to you when I need help. I have the right to protect you, punish you and make decisions for you that relate to this relationship. I agree not to harm or damage you and that you will offer me the same trust and protection. Your moral code will be honored by me and I will seek to fulfill your desires with grace, dignity and a control of myself."

Nathaniel's vows:

"Miss Ruby, daughter of the Goddess and Eve, I, Nathaniel, son of God and man, willingly give myself to you to be your champion, devoted servant, friend and lover. I am a person and not an object. I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help and will turn to you when I need help. As my chosen Miss you have the right to protect me, punish me and make decisions for me that relate to this relationship. I agree not to harm or damage you and that you will offer me the same trust and protection. Your moral code will be honored by me and I will seek to please you in all things with grace, beauty and a control of myself.”

We decided to skip any formal contract and either of us is free to end the relationship at any time, for any reason.

The decision to collar Nat didn't come lightly, especially because of my marriage to T. There was no elaborate ceremony, just two people exchanging vows and celebrating.

If someday, Nat would allow me to collar him in public, with a group of our friends watching, I would be thrilled.
However, maintaining his secret identity is a hard limit that I respect and admire.

To your success,

Ruby

[Blue_Monday]

Ruby, I was just browsing around looking for these same vows (which you posted elsewhere) as a great example. :-) I love that they're simple, that they demonstrate your commitment to Nathaniel as much as his commitment to you, and that they acknowledge each of your identities outside the relationship and your relationship outside of D/s (as friends and lovers). Thank you for posting them again.