physiology of a switch

[craftygirl]

I tend to agree with Ruby and RedEva. There is give and take in each role for me, but the medium is different. Ultimately it still comes down to sharing things we both enjoy, and in that there's give and take from both sides.

[hislittlebrattysub]

I've never Dommed anyone, I am only a sub. I find that the best part of subbing is the giving, and ironically that is what I crave. The giving is completely unselfish gratification of my partner, but at the same time it is so selfish because I have never been more turned on or had better sex then when I am sub to my husbands Dom. So it is a balance and one that can be confusing at times. I am new to this, but I am beginning to truly embrace my submission. It is complicated and IMHO I don't think that the oversimplification of the experience helps the 'nila world understand, nor do I think it helpful for people new to the scene. Domination and submission are unique to the people who experience them, and are both completely selfless and selfish at the same time. Which I think is part of the attraction for me.

[Ruby]

Domination and submission ... are both completely selfless and selfish at the same time.

This is a clever gem of a statement. It sums up the paradox of the experience and or relationship between the participants rather nicely.

While I don't believe it's true for every instance of d/s, I think it is true for a good many scenes and moments.