Quote Originally Posted by hikochan View Post
I don't know what to do with him. We got into a huge argument the other day about how he hasn't said one word about how much weight I lost this year. You know what he told me? "I'm afraid if I say something then you'll assume that I didn't like you before. And then if you gain it back you'll assume that I think you're ugly or something. Besides, I don't want to objectify you or anything." WTF. I've never behaved in any way that would make him think like this. I know his last girlfriend was a huge femi-nazi though so maybe she just totally brainwashed him. Why would you think you can't compliment your girlfriend on how she looks nice today? If I make the extra effort I want to hear about it! Gah. Like I said - I'm beating my head against a brick wall over here.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent! Again...LOL
I'm so sorry for laughing, but I can't tell you how utterly hilarious that is.
And before you ladies lynch me, let me just justify myself by saying that I heard almost the identical thing from my sister's fiance when they were dating. He loved her soo much that at times he became literally scared to death at the possibility of them breaking up. He feared saying the wrong thing, that he started avoiding saying the correct stuff. Thats when my sister started crying and saying how he didn't love her anymore and I had to fix their relationship for the second time.

But as a tip, hopefully helpful, do try to think about this bdsm from his perspective. You stated in your first post that you wanted him to have sex with you hard. Now, being a vanilla turning to switch brought upon a lot of internal conflicts. On one side, it's this desire I have, on the other, this form of domination seemed to be completely opposite to my values about the equality of women. It took me some time to actually figure out that those two did not clash.

My suggestion, start slow, perhaps try to be submissive to him in sexual situations, massage his back, wear your skimpiest lingirie and surprise him by getting on your knees in front of him, or whatever else suits you. If he has a shred of domness in him, it'll come out eventually.

Anyhow, however your relationship goes, I wish you the best of luck