A plea for guidance

[jeanne]

Someone got lucky methinks.

I'd like to believe he feels that way, although I can be a lot of work.

[NightNurse]

Or we can start a frustrated submissive thread and and bitch in it to our hearts content.

I was just thinking this cadence..
I truly admire your persistence jeanne. I gave up long ago. (Maybe not that long ago but it seems like it) The difference is, I never got anywhere. Lots of steps back but none forward. The more I talked the more he shut down. I'm afraid it caused a lot of damage in our relationship.
I guess what I'm trying to say is at least he tried for you- so maybe there is hope after all...

[jeanne]

I took some time to think about everyone's comments...

I'm sure though that if your relationship is a good one and your husband wants you to be happy, he'll try and find ways over time to find some middle ground with you.

Our relationship is good, but I'm not looking for half-hearted from him. As thrall said:

"if you don't want this for yourself, than its not worth my having."

I agree with her. He doesn't get that the thrill for me would be that he wanted it, wanted all of me and even more...and took it.

I think Oz comes closest to the answer

Hmmm. I don't like to admit that, no ma'am I don't. It sure does seem like we're all on a "Oz is right" kick here in the forums lately. He's going to become conceited.

jeanne that wasn't flattery nor a compliment just the truth, I too feel that way for you and have for quite some time. I guess I can relate as well as a Dom can I travel across country to be with morgan since she could not do without me only to be treated like dirt once I got here. Different sides to the same coin.

Well, Sir_Russell, you got a blush out of me. Not an easy thing to do. I am still so sorry about your relationship with morgan - I know you care for her very deeply.

The more I talked the more he shut down. I'm afraid it caused a lot of damage in our relationship.

We were getting to that point. Damaging.

Figuring it out, just not very well yet,
jeanne

[Rhabbi]

j

Mishka and I started our online relationship without the Cyber-Play or any concentration on sex. we have a friendly argument about how we actually evolved into doing that, but I know that you can have a D/s relationship without that type of thing.

The reason I am saying this is so that you could consider this as an option. If you decide to go with the option because you decide you want the D/s you could make it clear from the beginning that there would be no play involved. This would not be an easy thing because sex would be something you would end up talking to your Dom about intimately. He would be aware of every aspect of your relationship with your husband, and know more about you than any psychiatrist.

This might not be easy for you to accept, but it is the truth.

[Sir_Russell]

jeanne,

Again I can't understand his point of view but I can relate to what your going through. If I can be of any help let me know from being a friend to counseling either of you.

I hate it when good people can't find the desire to make the most important person in their life happy.

[Ozme52]

It sure does seem like we're all on a "Oz is right" kick here in the forums lately. He's going to become conceited.

Who me?

[tessa]

jeanne, I just want to give you a big hug and tell you it's going to work out like you want. While the hug is entirely do-able, the other is on iffy ground at the moment. I can say that I will keep hoping it will all work out like you want.

I think I'm on surer footing when I say 'he' knows he got lucky where you're concerned and doesn't see you as 'work'.

~huggles~
tessa

[Logic1]

I hate it when good people can't find the desire to make the most important person in their life happy.

this hits the nail on the head dead on.

[jeanne]

Oh, don't be so hard on him, you guys! At least he tried. And where's the joy for me in submission if I know he's not doing it because HE wants to? For that matter, where's the submission at all in that case? And the submission is the important part for me, not the sensation in and of itself - rather, taking or doing or giving because it pleases HIM for me to do so is where my satisfaction (and orgasms ) exists.

[Logic1]

seems like you are back in spirits again j.
good to hear that

[Rhabbi]

Oh, don't be so hard on him, you guys! At least he tried. And where's the joy for me in submission if I know he's not doing it because HE wants to? For that matter, where's the submission at all in that case? And the submission is the important part for me, not the sensation in and of itself - rather, taking or doing or giving because it pleases HIM for me to do so is where my satisfaction (and orgasms ) exists.

I am glad you see the point of all this j.