it sounds like you already know the answer to various degrees - you just have to get your heart and mind on the same page.

its not easy making the decision to leave - I know it was nun to easy for me to leave the abuse that I was suffering in my last relationship, but eventaully my mind and heart where in one voice (even if that voice was only united for a moment, it happened and i got out).

If you need to talk, feel free in messaging me.

take care,

PS: you are never alone