My Hubby n I have just ventured into this area and we're going slow and exprimeting. We've actually ended up laughing do hard we've been crying when thigns have gone slightly in the wrong direction.

We've found the experimental aproach very exciting and we are just trying all sorts of things out. This is how I feel about it, but I dont want to rush into something and my hubby wants to gain confidence. So we just started out with a simple leg tie. Yeah i know some will yawn and say ... oh for goodness sake try something more challenging than that..... but thats the pace it started off at and thats the pace we are both comfortable with.

You asked about where to use your girlfirends favourite dildo ... why not try using it in both places. Experiment, there is no hard or fast direction in which to go. We started off by downlaoding a scene negotiation list or limit list as they are called. Put down what you are willing to receive and give and get her to do the same. Dont do it together though. When finished compare and talk about your answers. Its great to know how far your partner will go and what turns her off.

One idea is to command her to use the dildo herself and watch what she does ... see where she likes to put it.
Get her to dance for you [if thats your thing] and get her to incorporate the dildo as an object in that dance.

Do one of the limit setting lists such as the examples here
http://ds-arts.com/academy/index.html
http://www.westom.com/leather/play_p..._checklist.htm
http://www.soulshaven.f2s.com/newche...esc=yes&list=1

there are actually loads of them .. do a search through goggle and you will find plenty............
They really let you get to see a lil of what each other like and dislike.