Slave Master contract. Just incase you were curious or wanted to see one.

[Ruby]

I think the idea of a contract or vows that are to be kept in a D/s relationship can be very comforting and as well as stimulating.

There is a level of security in knowing that your partner and you have agreed on a set of boundaries within the relationship. If those boundaries are broken, then the couple can assess the relationship and determine whether or not to continue.

Contracts that leave all of the decisions with one party get my no vote, because I'm not into non-consensual activites and I see them as a step closer to abuse rather than a step closer to a relationship based on mutual trust.

A marriage vow and legal status are a wonderful way for a couple to cement their d/s relationship.

However, for same sex or poly couples, that same level of legal protection isn't available worldwide. Also, not every sub and dom wish to get married.

Contracts like anything else, are another tool for the relationship. Use them or don't, it's your choice.

[fwss]

Hi BM.. I didn't say I was certain about the looking after me thing, just that I felt sure. The point is, our contract makes it clear that Mistress is NOT obliged to do so, in any way. The contract generally IS important.. of course in any relationship, vanilla or d/s, there are things that both parties know - or THINK they know.... Feelings change, people change, 'certainties' change.

The contract specifically makes my role clear for life.... it means that if I have 'wobbles' or want things to change, that's simply 'tough'... those decisions are entirely in Mistress's hands.

Ruby, re this comment: <<Contracts that leave all of the decisions with one party get my no vote, because I'm not into non-consensual activites and I see them as a step closer to abuse rather than a step closer to a relationship based on mutual trust.>> I freely (and eagerly!) signed the contract and entered this situation, so I don't see it as non-consensual. I trust my Mistress with my life.... almost literally... and don't wholly like even the hint of that ugly word 'abuse'.

I know that 'extreme' bdsm relationships can look a bit scary or somehow wrong from the outside, but those of us in them are often very intelligent people, not whacked out weirdoes with no common sense at all... :-)

[Ruby]

fwss,

It's fantastic that you've found a partner you can trust with your life and that you've got a contract that works for the two of you. Cause that's what contracts are all about, what works for the two of you, not anyone else.

I agree that extreme BDSM relationships can look scary. So can mild ones from those not living them. Heck, I've seen some vanilla relationships that were down right terrifying.

Wacked out weirdo's with no common sense?
I'm not sure where that's coming from.
In this thread we were discussing contracts and personal preferences about them. We weren't slamming people's choices, name calling or suggesting that people who are involved in BDSM relationships whether extreme or mild are in anyway less intelligent than folks who have vanilla relationships.

It is not for me to judge what's in the heart of another.
I can judge someone's actions and decide if they hurt me or not. I can decide if I want them in my life or not. I can decide if I want to sign a contract or not. So can you. It about personal choices and helping educate each other on the choices that we've made.

If you ever feel like sharing more of your relationship, what works, what doesn't, why you chose a contract, what you like or don't like about it, please do. If you want to focus on your relationship with your Mistress, like an ongoing documentary, I encourage you to start your own thread in the My BDSM Life section of the forums and go for it.

You've brought up some very valuable points in your posts and there's always room for actual discussion and disagreement. If we get stuck, we can always agree to disagree.

So...hint, hint, hint...
What do you like about having a contract?
How did you and your mistress go about selecting one?
Care to share a copy with the forum members?

To your success,

Ruby

[fwss]

Thanks for a very reasoned reply Ruby. I'm probably a little over-sensitive about some of this - there is a lot of censure of the more 'extreme' lifestyles even within the BDSM community - hence my (somewhat tongue-in-cheek) reference to wacked-out weirdoes.

There is a wonderful line in 'Slavecraft' (Daedalus Publishing): "Few have walked on the moon, but we do not call them extremists"

To answer your questions/suggestions:

1. I like having a contract for several reasons, I suppose. Mostly because for me, I want (need?) my slavery to be as real as humanly possible. The contract means that I simply have to get through times of difficulty or of pining for old freedoms, rather than turn around and say I don't feel like serving today. It also protects both me and my owner, in some ways. Her from accusations of abuse, kidnapping (hehehe!), false imprisonment. Me from ... well, not a lot really... but it does include her responsibility to feed and house me as long I'm her slave.

2. We wrote the contract ourselves, and it is refined from time to time as points occur to us; boundaries have been removed at times, clarified at others.

3. I don't want to share it in the forum... I'm not embarrassed by it, but it feels intensely personal, somehow.

[Ruby]

fwss,

Thank you for responding. I'm sure that there are many who relate to your reasons on why you want to have a contract.

Please don't be lulled into thinking that it protects her or you from law enforcement officers, family members or anyone else who thinks they have a right to intrude on your relationship if either of you were to step outside the legal boundaries of your location or were to become incapacitated from edge play.

I understand about the contract being personal, so I won't push for you to post it.

Just that the two of you take the time to review it, to modify as necessay is a huge example to everyone who's even thinking about having a contract.

velvet_nectarine,

Excellent points and good questions.

Who's next?