Entries for the September Poetry Contest

[moptop]

I'm posting this here & now because of reasons stated in the Intros thread, which I've used to say Farewell.

Shakespeare's original (title is first line)

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest;
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.


Mine (title is first line)

Shall I constrain you and force you to pray?
You are so lovely and intemperate:
Rough bonds so tight I fear they’re going to fray,
I must not loose them e’en a breath too late.
Sometimes your look is hot and shows some signs
That I’m too harsh: but then, your vision dimmed,
You yield, and sweat defines your lovely lines.
Your beauty – soft hair, full lips, round arsed, sweet-limbed –
Is by your pain and gift more lovely made.
Nor ever will you lose that wondrous glow,
Nor in my eyes your beauty ever fade,
Whilst you give in to every slap or blow.
So long as you will give your gift to me,
So long I’ll bind you, and I’ll set you free.

[annie]

Please add your poems for the September Poetry Contest here!

The topic is: Something a bit more classical. A Shakespearean Sonnet with the topic Fetish Dreams

Thank you all for sharing what I know will be some amazing pieces!

[Rhabbi]

Just realized that although I read this I did not comment on it moptop. I think you did an excellent job within the constraints, and I love the poem.

[thrall]

Shakespearian Sonnet............. Topic..Fetish Dreams...........oh the stanza....oh the stanza.......LOL





Pony Girl



Sigh no more, within my dream, you are a beautiful treasure.
I see your head bowed, drawing comfort form the reins of skill.
Dance for me joyous love, you bring me exquisite pleasure.
You are but a Lipizzaner, my slave, fear not my will.
Subtle pressure applied, a bridal adorned, the invisible bit fitted,
Relinquish to me, your hopes and desires, free from all fears.
Gentile my touch, submission attained, your burning heart committed.
I will move you with love, trust me, forgo your bitter tears.
You are a thoroughbred my precious, a magnificent horse.
To see you thus, in all your glory, bound for my delight,
My lovely Pony Girl, I will ride you without force.
I will turn and guide you, devotion assured, trust in your Masters sight.
I feel the lust you have for life, the trusting beauty of your soul,
Harnessed as you are, you will never falter under my loving control.




love Thrall

[thrall]

Hello Just Annie

Now that I have done this, I have a question............duh........LOL

Was this supposed to be a poem in the "style" of a Shakespearian Sonnet. A closed form English sonnet, 4+ 4+ 4+2 as opposed to an Italian sonnet 8+6??

Or was the poem to be a re-working of an existing Shakespearian sonnet???



I'm so confused....LOL.......this is what comes form doing this at 1am in the morning......lmao



lots of love

Thrall

[Uncle_Ed]

It could also be a variant on the English form which is the Spenserian sonnet, named after Edmund Spenser (c.1552–1599) in which the rhyme scheme is, a-b a-b, b-c b-c, c-d c-d, e-e. In a Spenserian sonnet there does not appear to be a requirement that the initial octave set up a problem which the closing sestet answers, as is the case with a Petrarchan sonnet. Instead, the form is treated as three quatrains connected by the interlocking rhyme scheme and followed by a couplet. The linked rhymes of his quatrains suggest the linked rhymes of such Italian forms as terza rima. This may be taking things a little too far, however.

Personally, I think Shakespeare had the right idea.

[thrall]

Hi Uncle Ed

LOL.............isn't that just what i just said?????

Yes I know the Italian/Petrarchan/8+6.............lol....problem+solution

But aren't we referring specifically to Shakespearian Sonnets?

....4+4+4+2.....lol......three quatrains plus one couplet..........the closed English/Shakespearian form.......lol

personally this may be all

Much Ado About Nothing............lmao

love Thrall


yes but it still doesn't answer my question....lol

[Rhabbi]

thrall, another excellent piece of poetry. The only thing I see as far as being Shakespearian is that it is not in iambic pentameter.

[Warbaby1943]

Don't know what the hell all this talk about style is but I love both poems. Nice job girls.

[ElectricBadger]

I'm sorry for the lack of moderatory response to the very valid questions on the theme. A bit of recent adjustments and absences have left this adrift.

However, for an 'official ruling':

The intent of the theme of this month's contest is to interpret Shakespearean sonnets (specifically qua "those sonnets written by William Shakespeare") in a way that pays them homage, but is also of you. That may mean a strict adherence to one of the forms he used, working within technical constraints to create a meaningful accomplishment in the image of the Master...and it may mean use of another form, or absolutely no adherence to convention. The content and language may be period and germane, or it may be an imitation, re-imagining, response or a rebuttal to a Shakespearean sonnet.

Ultimately, it is important to keep in mind that judging will be done by your peers, not by moderators: our purpose in providing a theme is to inspire, not to limit, to define -- or to attempt to invalidate. How much adherence to form or content will matter vis-a-vis other poetic qualities will be -- must be -- determined individually by those peers.

I hope this clarifies things, but if not, please feel free to ask me further questions, either here or via pm.

[thrall]

HI EB..........

Don't you think i have had my allotment of questions for the month..........LOL

Thanks for answering my question........

Thrall

[annie]

Thank you EB for clarifying...

The help is appreciated!

[ElectricBadger]

No worries, happy to help...and no, Thrall, I'm not nearly tired of answering questions yet. I've managed classes of angsty high schoolers, you got nothin' on them.

[thrall]

lol.....you should see me on a roll........

but thank you for your help.....

[Rhabbi]

Don't encourage her EB, you will regret it.

[thrall]

.......................


What!!!!! how could you..............lmao



Don't listen to him EB..........lol

[ElectricBadger]

But when it comes to thrall, encouraging her to do things we'll regret sounds kinda hot....

[Rhabbi]

But when it comes to thrall, encouraging her to do things we'll regret sounds kinda hot....

So does getting dipped in boiling water.

[GreyJack]

That which lies between thy thighs is modest, chaste, yet wry
As drollery that ne'er is writ to amuse the quaking lover's heart.
When slightly draped with tapered silk, colored by the tailor's dye,
Like mystery to ravel out the sphinx's lust or target Cupid's dainty dart,
I would then glance upon romance all purely toned and nested smile
And place a kiss of warm desire where thy flame burns brightest white.
But in the coils of serpent rope thy wrists are turned to Dom beguile,
Likewise the heart that beats within the rising breasts like angels' flight;
All thought is fled or held abeyant to the conquest and the sigh
While we -- mere players -- act our scene as if the story ceases ne'er.
Were you the slave in chains of silver, I the king who knots your tie
Would you then discover, lover, what pleasures come when all lies bare?
Tell me what in whispers come when you on me do think and want
And I shall tell thee of caresses, kisses, and the pleasures that do haunt.

[Rhabbi]

Nice entry GreyJack

[thrall]

that it.........i'm out of the running in september......*winks*........lol


Blown us girls right out of the water..............lol


good one GrayJack..........you even have my vote


ha.....i never thought i'd see the day that i vote against myself.............lmao

[DarkPoet]

Though I can hardly compete with the fabulous entries already there, I really love the old tongue and couldn't stop myself from having go at it:

Sonnet to my Goddess

Thou hast my heart with subtlety enthralled,
My want no longer other than thy will;
Ask of me forth what once me so appalled,
I will do willingly thus and be still.
Thou hast, with alabaster skin and grace,
Mark'd me as thine for all eternity;
Drawn streams of hot tears on thy servants face,
And dried them off with joy of humblety.
Thy bonds hold steadfast me both day and night,
With promises of mine dark secrets these;
So ask not to release me from my plight,
And I will grateful ever aim to please,
For no less thou, a goddess, hast deserved,
But be forever worshipped and well served.

[ElectricBadger]

Thank you for sharing, Dark, very good stuff!

[angelic.zest]

beautiful entries so far1!!!!