The sub I used to have (which I mentioned in my bdsm life section) has very low self esteem. She was or so she said, abused by her ex-husband. It got to where she did not seem to think she could find a job so had to prostitute herself at which point I really started to have enough. I don't know if that has anything to do with what makes a sub a sub, but I guess there's all kinds of reasons. We can't just get rid of it. As a dom, I have tried that myself because of the hurt it has caused me. I can do vanilla but not for long. It's like swiming against the tide. Be yourself.
IMADOM