i was with a control freak for 17 yrs and everything you said was very well put.. but i found one other point that i didn't see you mention.. Maybe because it doesn't happen to everyone..

There can be a fine line between an abuser and a control freak, and that line can be crossed very easily, or they could be just using this life style to hide there abusive attendencies..

That is from my view point and you may not all agree with it.. but it does happen...

hugs
snow