Very Interesting. A little more characterization would be nice though. It is easier to bring the reader into the story with characters they can care about.

This really seems a bit disjointed, and awkwardly expressed. Read it aloud and you will see what i mean.
i will get your next assignment posted today or tomorrow.


Quote Originally Posted by robertpaullocke View Post
Walking into the play room, I see her looking pitiful. She looks at me, with several of my doves, in her human size bird cage; they have pooped on her large breasts. There is a concentrated look (not sure what this means)on her face. I had to laugh at this pitiful sight. She had been crying all morning, not from the beating that I gave her for burning my eggs, but because she threw out an old box that held my niece’s 9th birthday present. Fortunately, I bought two large stuffed Panda bears. The one thing that my slave hates is when I take my glasses down and give her that very disappointed father stare.
“ I know what you did was an accident.” I walked up to the birdcage. She is still not looking at me. Her embarrassment normally is punishment enough, (; ) this time, we had several friends of ours over from the night before and I had to do something as (delete)to not look bad in front of them.
“ Do you have anything to say before I let you out?”
“ I do not know why you want me after I smell like Bird.”
“ Because I love you. “ I open up the birdcage as I (to)let her out, (; )the birds all fly out and return to the safety of their private bird (delete) perches through out (one word) the playroom. As She gets out of the cage, I hug her tightly.