Sir Russell,
i have to offer my words here, for whatever they may mean
i agree with the ever-so-wise Ozme in that everything happens for a reason and as hard as it is to figure out sometimes, you are being lined up for your destiny...it may be hard, but all good things are worth waiting for (and worth fighting for - as your own words have taught me, Sir). Something will come out of your uncertainty, Sir, and it will be exactly what you need when it comes, whether it seems obvious or not...

Best to you,
orchid