I think you have expressed your problem and your feelings very clearly here, and I, for one, understand how you feel. Still, it is hard to give advice on a relationship to someone you don’t know.

It looks like you did everything right … from researching, exploring to talking about it. You said you are in relationship for 3 years … that is long time, one would expect that you two know each other pretty well by now.

What concerns me is that he is doing things that you specifically said you do not enjoy. Power play is tricky. Is it the embarrassment and humiliation that you go through when he degrades you by laughing at you, what turns him on? Or is he just being cruel to you?

The only thing I can suggest is stop playing until you two manage to really understand each other. Set hard limits and call the play off if they are pushed. You have to protect yourself, because it is so easy to get hurt and emotionally scared with things like this.

Good luck and feel free to talk to us, there is great many ppl around here that have been in your shoes.