Hi Devilkisses, you might possibly be on the right track with what you say about his unease and uncomfortable feelings. When I first read your text I was wondering whether perhaps your boyfriend reacts like this because he feels embarrassed. It’s not always so easy to accept being turned on by ordering someone about and being obeyed.

The tension D/s creates can be felt very strongly on the top, and for a dominant who is learning it can be positively frightening to be freely given so much authority.

Perhaps your boyfriend tries to release the tension once in a while because he does not want the D/s interaction to give him a big head. Only this particular way of releasing tension is counterproductive, because it hurts you and makes you feel ill at ease – and not in a good way.

I think it is possible to take the responsibility for the submissive’s well-being that comes with dominating someone seriously, while at the same time not viewing D/s interaction as something that needs to be taken seriously all the time. Maybe, instead of laughing at you, he needs to learn to laugh at himself. Or just at the situation.

It could be great for your boyfriend to get in touch with other people who practise BDSM; online or in person. He could find out some more about the many and varied styles of domination; not all of them dead serious all the time. It could help him find his own style, gain self-assuredness while remaining flexible.