It depends on the therapist, I presume. I'm at number four or five by now, and she is pretty damn great. When the whole BDSM came up it wasn't a big deal and she didn't treat it as such. She said that as long as I was happy with it I shouldn't worry too much about it -- but she also asked me to have a closer look at some of my issues that can be easily compensated and are actually wished for in BDSM...anyway, I don't want to bore you with the deep, dark abyss that is my soul, the point I'm trying to make is: What we do is outside the norms and outside the conventions of the society we live in. What is normal is usually considered as sane and healthy, although I think one could argue that point. Does that make those BDSM people sick? I don't think so. But I also think that such a statement is easily and thoughtlessly made, too.

We all have needs. Some needs are more common, others are more complex. Personally I don't worry too much about what is sane and what is not -- as long as it works for everyone involved I see no problem with it. I'm sorry...I didn't want to go on a tangent, but oops

I think you're definitely on the safe side when you say something like "Everybody should be able to choose their lifestyle, and they shouldn't be discriminated for it". I know sure as hell I wouldn't want to tell my dad about my sex-life, and frankly I don't think that it concerns anybody but me and my respective partner. But if you're bothered by his comment, I'd tell him and make it a more general call for tolerance.

I don't know if it helps any, but I was in a similar situation a while ago. It wasn't these sick s&m people but "those fetishists" and not uttered by my dad, but by an acquaintance of mine. I smiled and said, "Well, I don't think it's that bad...I have a fetish or two of my own. Don't you?" Funny thing with sex is that all people -- vanilla or not -- apparently want to come across as adventurous. And hell, we all have our fetishes...but I digress again. Thing is that when you treat it is normal, people around you usually will do the same -- that's my philosophy at least.

Anyway, just my two cents! Hope you can filter out something useful from my ramblings