Consistancy

[Ruby]

My question, I guess, is how do you help/solve a lazy-thinking Dom? Who creates new orders on a whim, then forgets about them, or does not require/reinforce them after being obeyed once or twice?

Hi Kats,

How about writing down those rules as you receive them?

You can give him the rules and when you have those off moments, where you are in neither role, just planning and talking about how things are going, you can pull them out and ask if he really wants you to follow them or not.

I know it's hectic right now and short/long term memory loss is prevalent throughout the holidays and other times of busy lives. However, if this were to become a long term problem, I'd definitely point out to him that consistency is what you are seeking.

If this isn't personal, about your dom, but a question for anyone in general, I'd say the same thing. -- If the rule is important enough to make it, it's important enough to be written down and reviewed every now and then.

Ruby

[Katmandu]

Great! Thanks for the responses, all! Actually, Pan is right. Things are a bit "distracted" now, and yes, all-in-all, our play life IS much better this time.

Ruby, also correct. It was more a general question (from my past) to get this thread rolling! LOL

Thanks, rabbit1. The fear that He is only playing a role, seems to haunt many a sub, I think.

[Rabbit1]

Great! Thanks for the responses, all! Actually, Pan is right. Things are a bit "distracted" now, and yes, all-in-all, our play life IS much better this time.

Ruby, also correct. It was more a general question (from my past) to get this thread rolling! LOL

Thanks, rabbit1. The fear that He is only playing a role, seems to haunt many a sub, I think.

Well the others seem to know your situation much better than I do. I of course was speaking in general terms not knowing of these things, that is also a factor in your life.

[Aesop]

I just saw this. My wife and I have three kids -all under 14 - so you can imagine how hard it is to find the time and the energy to play. We've found that a written contract keeps us focused on our life as dominant and submissive when it gets difficult to be there. Our contract spells out the duties of each of us to the other and gives us a focal point for our perversion. It also keeps me from making rules one day and abandoning them the next. Everything she is expected to do on a daily basis is in the contract. I can of course have her do something different if I want to - but it is only for that day - not forever unless we add it to the contract. Adding to or changing the contract takes both of our approval and we generally only do that if there is something very important to change or add.