Here is your answer.

You enjoy BDSM because you are hot wired that way. It's not a good thing or a bad thing it's just the way you and many others are.

Not everyone who has been abused are into BDSM.

Not everyone who have never been abused are 'nilla.

We are what we are. We would all do well to accept ourselves as unconditionally as humanly possible, the way some hope to accept a Master, IMO.

*hugs*

Good luck,

Fury