Great job - despite the blue print LOL

I really liked how you made suggestions of what to change in a way that was clear and make sense. I myself would make many of these changes if I rewrote this piece now. At the time, things like starting a new paragraph for a new speaker I wasn't even aware of! Even the new action, new paragraph one was unknown to me at that time. Just goes to prove we are always learning!

I like too how you resisted the urge to change the plot or the nature of the characters. Instead you very nicely looked for ways of improving the story.

The only thing I wouldn't change is the spelling of realise to realize, only because spelling it with an S is how we spell it in Australia and in other parts of the world too. I however have no problem with you suggesting it be changed, as you would spell it with the Z.

I hope you found this task to be as useful as it is intended to be. It is not everyday you are asked to edit/review another author's work! Actually I would love to know how you felt about the task, as it is still a fairly new task and only a few students have tried it yet.

Now I get to really see what you can do!!! As you may already have seen, assignment 3 asks you to either rewrite the above chapter using the changes you suggested, rewrite it from a different point of view or do a background for the story.

I personally would love to see you do one of the last two suggestions, so I can see your style of writing coming through. It is up to you though.

Have fun with this and I look forward to seeing what you come up with. PM me if you have any concerns.

Thanks again for a lovely job here
AG