Thanks TYWD for a great job here.

What stood out to me was that you were able to review the chapter in two ways - one being the simple suggestions for word changes, the second being your ability to question if certain parts of the chapter work within the whole chapter.

Both are useful tools in reviewing a story but it is the second that really shows me how carefully you reviewed this piece of writing. It also means the difference between having a story that is functional and one that really has style.

Ok, now we get to the fun bit, at least for me anyway lol

For your third assignment, take this story and do one of three things. Rewrite it with the above changes, rewrite it from another point of view or give me a background into the chapter. The last two would be more challenging for you, but the choice is yours.

I look forward to seeing what you decide to do.

AG