Introduction: I'm a 25 year-old straight male dominant living on the West Coast of the USA. I've been lurking in the Library since at least 2000. A few months back I started talking with a woman who was a "sassy sub" as she put it, and had spent a great deal of time thinking about dominance and submission and sadism and masochism and things of that nature. And I never did. Sure I had deep dark secret fantasies (okay, they're really somewhat vanilla), and I acted out some of my desires with willing partners, yet nothing ever made me stop and think about that aspect of myself. So I decided to commit and become a member of the community & learn from ya'll.

Recent History: My last 'serious' relationship imploded quite spectacularly four or five years back, in part because I wasn't truly comfortable with my need to dominate. Since then I've been living the life of a bachelor and quite enjoying it. I was a pariah as a lad; it shocked and amazed me that a woman -- any woman -- would want me. After I'd sprouted and filled out, I discovered that I was what the vanilla world would term 'a catch'. Yet such a world holds little attraction for me. Having had revenge sex with a very silly number of women, including some light to moderate BDSM, it was pointed out in the Spring of last year that I was just possibly a sex addict.

Well, we couldn't have that! To give up such control over oneself to an all-consuming addiction? The very notion was and is abhorrent. So I went cold turkey and have been celibate for roughly 9 months. It was of course hard at first; my first reaction when bored was to go get laid. Sometimes I'd find myself in my car en route to a meat market (read: location wherein women go to be picked up, generally a bar), or discover myself picking up women at the local college or in the supermarket. I'd flirt with a female for awhile, then discard her before anything happens, because that's not what I truly wanted.

Awakening: Before I started my quest for sex, I was uncomfortable with my sexuality and that of others. I felt my needs and desires were somehow wrong or inappropriate, because I was raised in a very vanilla world. The first time I spanked a girl I was 18 -- and it was magical. After that, there was no turning back. I am not an 'ass man'. Yet now the second thing I check out on a woman is her bottom; wondering how it would look when bright red; how she would feel when bent across my lap; how her cries and moans would sound in my ears.

Interests: Far more important than physical dominance is mental domination, IMO. Given my physical characteristics and training, it's quite easy to control a woman. That presents no challenge. But to mentally spar with a woman; to have her submit without your ever laying a finger on her? Ah, now there's a special task. And rewarding in it's own right, for submission is a gift to be treasured. The look in a sub's eye after she's taken her punishment for misbehaviour -- or when she's performed a task to the best of her ability and you praise her and reward her -- that's what really gets me going. For me, pain, pleasure, the whip, the crop, a gentle hand, a kind word, a stern glare or a tender kiss -- these are all tools to accomplish the task at hand.

I don't understand sadism; so I won't be able to help you there.

Bondage? Ah, but that's a game you play with someone you trust. Regrettably, my awakening came about after my last relationship ended, so I am unfortunately no expert there. I've owned handcuffs since I was 19, and used them on a number of women, yet only in a playful manner. Rope work is fascinating from an asthetic standpoint, yet for me to devote myself to it would require the sub to be truly needing it. Leather? Laytex? These options intrigue me, though I don't understand why. Strictly a novice here, I'm afraid.

Submission? Not from me, thanks. Yet I crave it from others, particularly women.

Relationships: In the fullness of time I expect to find a playmate, a sub, or a slave who I just might happen to come to love. I crave the special bond that develops between a Master and His Slave or a Sub and her Sir...yet am I ready for such a step? 'Tis a huge committment, not to be undertaken lightly. If I meet a special woman, then so be it. For now I am content to learn and grow as a master and explore BDSM with your aid.

I look forward to getting to know you, and welcome any aid, advice, or questions you may have. Feel free to contact me via PM about just about anything.

Warmest Regards,

DeDomMaster