Hi Lavender,

BDSM isn't only about the whips and chains, it's about so many aspects both mental and physical.

The first thing you might want to do is find out what turns you both on? What part of BDSM does he really want more of? What about you?

Talk your way or write your way through one of the many checklists on the net. There's one in my signature that you can use.

The more you each know about each other's fantasies and turn ons, the more fun playtime will be.

You can easily combine BDSM and sex. Don't be worried if one leads to another or they take place simultaneously. To many rules can damper your fun.

If you're in the role of domme, mistress or top, then know what you want out of him. Set up a few guidelines for him to follow and modify as necessary.

Do a bit of homework. There's lots of great books on the market that may help.

It's okay that you don't want to do this 24/7 or even all the time in the bedroom. That you are willing to do this to please your partner is fantastic.

What is he willing to do to please you? Have fun answering that question.

To your success,

Ruby