Quote Originally Posted by rach View Post
I joined collarme a while ago, and someone there was recommended as a mentor. He lives only an hour or so away from here and is in my town this weekend. He wants to meet up. For him BDSM isn't a lifestyle as such and he keeps them separate. He isn't involved, so he says with anyone at present. We have had some discussions and sessions online, and he feels that we are ready to try a r/t session.

I'm not sure if this is safe or sensible. I know I am in need of r/t experiences and he is honest in the fact he is not seeking a 24/7 relationship and does not want any control over my vanilla life.

I feel the need to have some r/t experience and maybe this is something that might provide the opportunity, but I don't know if I am being too needy.

Any advice gratefully appreciated.
Hello Rach ~

My thoughts are that your Safety is Always First. And then; Do you actually Know R/T the PPL that recommend this person to you, and do they actually Know this person? There are lots of ways to meet someone Safely. First meetings in public is one of them, as Others here have mentioned. Getting and Verifying personal information about this person like address, phone number, actual Name (not a sn), date of birth, etc., is another. Telling someone close to you that you have a date with someone you don't know well, and giving them the date, time, place of meeting, and all the verified personal information you have gathered, as well as setting up safe calls between you and that person, to make sure everything goes as planned. Someone who wants to meet you in person should have no problem giving you this personal information IF they have nothing to hide, and no hidden agenda.

You mention that "he feels we are ready to try a r/t session", but how do You feel Rach? While a Mentor can be a wonderfull thing, it's important to temper these things with your own feelings, not just their input, or what they would like. You strike me as a strong person. Utilize your strength, and don't let anyone push you into anything you don't want or aren't ready for...even subtly. If this is in fact something you do want, then go about it Safely. Remember what you do or don't do is Your Choice Rach.

I don't think it's needy to want and need R/T experiences, and to actually Live your Life. Online communications can be a great tool for many things <soft smiles>. Like your sig line...reaching out into Worlds beyond where one actually is....or something to that effect <G>. But online in my opinion is not Really Living. Perhaps online is a trial run, or even a beginning?

Just above all be Safe, and Choose what is best for you Rach.

Respectfully~SidheWolf