Thanks, this is an interesting point of view. I found out more about Sarah and felt her excitment. The only thing I thought was missing was how May feels about what goes on in the house. I would like you to add to the piece, sharing some of May's thoughts and/or feelings. Think about sharing some things like, why she helps, does she feel sorry for the girls, her role in helping etc.

Otherwise, I really like what you have started here. I think with a bit more tinkering, it will be a very good piece of writing.