domina asks subs - your self-esteem?

[submissivemark]

Since I am married to my wonderful Wife/Mistress, I may be answering this from a different perspective, but by the same token I can refer back to my previous D/s relationships as well.

My Wife & I are great believers in increasing, uplifting, & sustaining each other's self esteem. She is very loving & caring, in addition to being very exacting & strict, but to us, the loving & caring go hand in hand with the exacting & strict, so there is no differenciation in the mix.

The closest we get to "pulling down" my self esteem is in the few times that we do a bit of mild humiliation play, & that is different & is treated as such. Even mild humiliation, (not in play, but in reality), can actually bolster one's self esteem however. An example is when a sub needs to be corrected/punished, (for those into this aspect of D/s), for failing to please their dominant. The very act of being punished has it's own shades of humiliation, & humbles one before the dominant, thereby reinforcing the lesson being learned by the punishment. Now once you learn a lesson, your self esteem increases, doesn't it?

[Ozme52]

Now once you learn a lesson, your self esteem increases, doesn't it?

It does if the lesson is given in a caring manner. But all too many (in all walks of life,) teach condescendingly. Which does no one any good except to the already overblown ego of the 'teacher'... and that is only in the eyes of said 'teacher'.

You are fortunate if you don't have to experience that type of treatment.

[submissivemark]

It does if the lesson is given in a caring manner. But all too many (in all walks of life,) teach condescendingly. Which does no one any good except to the already overblown ego of the 'teacher'... and that is only in the eyes of said 'teacher'.

You are fortunate if you don't have to experience that type of treatment.

Very true. In my case I was going by my own experience, & narrowly focusing on the D/s aspects of it.