your welcome BrownGrizzly. I did not make this list I just added to it to make it more complete.
Oz is right though it isn't any tool or specific act that makes you part of the Life but the attitude and power exchange that happens.

I can ask mine sweetly and she knows it is a command and that makes her wet. I can look at her and watch her know she is in trouble or watch her melt for me. All without saying anything.