The voice on the phone was my love. He said he was worried about me. He asked if I were all right. It made me smile to know how well he watched over me. I knew he cared about me in a way no one else ever had. My mouth curved up, then stretched into a smile. His voice always made me wet now. That’s all it took, just hearing his voice even through electronics and that arousal happened.

“Yes, I, I guess I spaced out for a while but I’m fine now.” I said haltingly. I turned toward the camera closest to me so he could see my face.

“Good, I’m glad. Tell me how are you feeling right now?” He asked concern and curiosity was clear in his voice.

“I’m fine.” I said. Knowing that I was wet, I blushed and squirmed a little.

“Do something for me will you?”

My body seemed to be pulled toward the camera, and my soul, toward his voice.

“Anything!”

“Lover your panties and lift your skirt.”

I did as he asked.

“Rub your clit.”

“Good. Faster now.”

“Come Francesca.”

Just like that I exploded. The office seemed to dissolve around me. His voice alone had transported me. Before I came to him that first night I had never had a real orgasm. I had tried from time to time but always felt too, I don’t know what the right word is, guilty, perhaps to come. With him, it was like he let me free by being in charge. I didn’t have to feel guilty because he made them happen, not me.

We talked on the phone a little more after I came. He seemed very pleased with me, which made me happy. He told me he’d see me after work.

That night he held me close to him after dinner. We talked about favorite movies, music, flowers and books. We talked about philosophy, life and death. It seemed like we talked about everything under the sun. He wasn’t touching me sexually at all, yet every touch, even those that I would normally call platonic ones, seemed to me, so erotically charged that I was constantly simmering for more.

He told me that the night before the wedding he would not see me. I didn’t like that but he went on. After tonight I would not come again until our wedding night. It upset me to hear that I would not see him one night. It may seem silly but I felt my heart tear apart at his declaration.

The idea of not coming worried me very little. Though I enjoyed it immensely, I was much more concerned about not seeing him. Not pleasing him for one night was unthinkable to me. Not being in his presence was a cold exile I didn’t want to handle. I wanted to please him every night but he rarely let me, at least not sexually. I was shaken by the idea of this separation. I tried to handle it like an adult. We were getting married after all. Soon we would share every part of our lives together.

What he did do, though, was keep me constantly on edge, until I was nearly mad from desire. I wondered if he were doing that to “make” me say out loud what he wanted. I wanted to do that for him but I wasn’t sure if could. I was going to try though. As unnatural and wrong as it seemed to be in my mind, I was going to try hard to do that for him. It was all I had to give him on our wedding night besides my virginity.

So for the next few days, he kept on teasing me until I was constantly throbbing with desire. I was literally itching for his touches. That last night before we got married was a long lonely night that drove me nearly insane from the lack of his voice, his presence. It was truly scary because I realized I had somehow become dependant on him in a very peculiar way. To me at that age and time, it was a strange permutation of love that I had never expected.

Our wedding was very small. There were only the two witnesses and the clergyman. It was also gloriously beautiful. The place we married had fantastic stained glass windows. They were so amazing I got emotional just looking at them. The light that shone through them seemed to symbolize the freedom I was soon to have and the sun I would soon see again. I would mostly eschew that freedom but it would be a pleasure beyond measure to have a real choice. I thought about sitting by a pool and watching him as he swam. I thought about fucking in the sun. I imagined him rutting into me, hurting me and making me feel exquisite.

I know I was in a church or a church like set anyway but I couldn’t help it. He had me in such a state by then. I didn’t feel like a virginal bride anymore. My body was in such need. I needed the sun to burn my skin again. I needed his touch bruising me as I cried out. I don’t know how many can understand these needs but that is the way it was for me then. I was being turned inside out by need and longing.

During the planning he had told me his full name. It was Ian Underwood. He had given me his last name already, he explained, because he felt that we were married in spirit from the beginning. I was shocked by that, how could he be so confident of that? I was pleased and touched too. No one had ever cared about me the way he did. No one had ever bonded with me the way that he did either. When it came time for our vows I went first.

“I Francesca Underwood, take you, Mr. Ian Underwood to be my lawfully married husband.” I began. We had written our own vows. I was so nervous wanting to get them just right. I cleared my throat a little continuing.

“More than that, I want to serve you always. I want to obey your needs and wishes. I give myself to you in perfect trust. There is no one else I would willingly give myself to. I will let you guide me, mold me, and lead me as you see fit. I want you to take me completely. I want you to rip me apart and reform me to please yourself. There is no part of my mind, heart or soul you haven’t touched since we’ve been together. Now I want you to touch that last part of me that you have not. Yes, I want YOU to do that. I beg you to. In return, I promise to do my best to always keep a smile on your face, harmony in your soul and desire in your heart. I promise to remain yours alone and to do my best to be whatever you wish, forever.”

I couldn’t help it that tears stained my face and my voice was not steady. The emotions I felt were too strong. This moment was too important to me. I smiled up at him when I saw clearly in his face that he was moved by my words. I could see he approved of what he had heard. Those things on his face and in his eyes made me feel truly elated.

Ian waited a moment. He kissed my hand before he began his vows.

"When you came to me, you were beautiful, fresh and innocent. You were also frightened and unsure. I've watched you grow and bloom while you’ve been with me. I've nurtured you so you could grow. Now you are even more beautiful to me.” He began. I couldn’t see him anymore because my eyes were swimming with tears. Were there ever-sweeter words said by a man to a woman?

“You are more confident now, more aware of what you want, need and desire. What you have given me my heart is a treasure beyond measure, your faith, and your willingness to do as I wish, to become mine. You have opened the way to this love we share because of your strength to give of yourself to me, and trust my judgment. I vow to always keep your wishes and needs clear in my mind. I vow to give you those things even when they are not what I seek. If I can’t provide what you need, I will make sure you get those things from others. You may not always see the pattern I am weaving or the threads that bind us together but I will always be there, watching you, close to you, you I’m sure, will trust my judgment in these things, I know you will. Why will I do all this? Because, my dear Francesca, I love you. It’s as simple and as complicated as that. For you, my heart, I will do my very best, always."

Both of our eyes were wet when we finished our vows and slipped on our wedding rings. They were simple rings made of platinum. Mine was shaped a bit funny to fit the engagement ring’s huge heart shaped stone. The sealing kiss seemed to last forever in a way. I certainly wanted it to, but it wasn’t nearly long enough for me. I was impatient to get to our marriage bed.

I tried to enjoy the cake, the champagne and dancing but I just wanted to get on with things. I couldn’t seem to be still. He had built quite a need inside me. A desire so profoundly strong that I would have never guessed I could feel such a thing. This he alone had brought out in me.

Finally we were off. We didn’t go to my room. I was surprised but pleased. Instead we went to a room that had a fireplace, a high antique bed and small kitchen. It was done in shades of gold, black and rose. Firelight, candles and pink roses, flooded the room with ambient light and natural scents that were too magnificent for words. He carried me inside just like in the movies!

He took me to the couch, and talked with me about the wedding. Did it meet my expectations? Would I like supper now? He just went on and on until I wanted to scream.

“Don’t you want to have sex with me now?” I asked. My voice was quivering with a potent mixture of need, anger and confusion.

“Do you?” He said. He sounded almost coy. I swear I wanted to slap him. He was being so hard on me but I knew what he was really saying. He was really telling me I had to say it to him or nothing would happen. Here I thought I had a get out of jail free card but he demanded his payment still.

“Yes! Yes! Please!” I said urgently. My hands went to his body moving, as I knew he liked but he stopped them.