Yes, I've had similar experiences.

While in my books, I may write some harsh S/M, in real life, I prefer sensual domming over my pet as opposed to causing him pain.

When we first started playing, Nat had a very difficult time. He wanted to please me so much, that he wouldn't tell me if he was uncomfortable or would want to stay in bongage that I knew was hurting him, cause he thought it was what I wanted.

We used an activity checklist to discuss the difference between fantasy and real life play. Over a number of sessions, it became very apparent that he did indeed have preferences and once he realized I wanted the truth, he was more inclined to discuss them.

Similar conversations to the one below start to happen when the sub understands that the dom values their wants and needs:

"Pet, what would please you right now?"

"Seriously? What I want or am I to guess what you want?"

"What you want."

"I want to go finish my sandwich and take a nap."