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Draco and i can't legally marry here in PA, which sucks, but whatever, can't change that just yet. But we've been together for nearly 5 years and living together for almost 4 out of those nearly 5. Our relationship started off, sort of vanilla, we both could say "I like to be Domme/sub" but we never went much further with that. Occasionally we would play, maybe a couple of times a year, nothing serious or frequent though. In the last 6-12 months, it's become a major part of our relationship. i've said it before in other threads and in the chat room, but i'll say it here. Our relationship has never been better, and i don't just mean sex. We communicate with each other, we sometimes just talk, maybe it's about sex, maybe it's not. This was something we had stopped doing for a very long time. We're more intimate with each other, we're just stronger, better. Now i *cross fingers* HOPE to be doing a religious marriage ceremony in the next 12-18 months, time (and Draco) will only tell. i do however think it's very possible to have a marriage with someone that started out as a Dom/me/sub and be happy.