Face Slapping, and my changing reactions

[Ozme52]

Did you really want him to stop? If so... it seems you have neglected to discuss how to stop a scene.

Go look at the safeword threads. Even if you never use it, knowing you have it may change how you perceive new activities.

As far as face slapping goes, some love it . Some hate it. But I think everyone changes their perspective after they've experienced it a few times.

Nothing wrong with feeling unsettled. It's when you're least sure of yourself that you are the most appealing... taking your discomfort for our pleasure.

[Saucie]

As I said, I am still new to the scene, but I choose not to have a safeword. For me, safewords remove a good deal of the power exchange. If I'm going to give him power over me, then it's going to be real. I can ask him to stop, but I have chosen to give him the final say.

Back to topic... is it sexy for me to be unsettled? If so, why? I'm curious.

[Ozme52]

As I said, I am still new to the scene, but I choose not to have a safeword. For me, safewords remove a good deal of the power exchange. If I'm going to give him power over me, then it's going to be real. I can ask him to stop, but I have chosen to give him the final say.

I give her a safeword so that I can reign freely over her without worrying if I've unwittingly damaged her, scared her beyond intent, or crossed some unknown limit that might damage her psyche.

It's more for me than it is for her.

Back to topic... is it sexy for me to be unsettled? If so, why? I'm curious.

Absolutely. It's the mental equivalent to being physically uncomfortable.

If you like the physical aspects, the mental aspects won't be far behind.

Power over your body is one thing... power over your mind is far sexier. Especially for a dominant. I can be a sadist and enjoy your body. You can be a masochist to enjoy what I do to your body. But (IMO) I can't "Dom" you unless you submit to me. That's an emotional bond.

Maybe it's just semantics. But it's how you react and how you give yourself even when discomfitted, unsettled, even a little scared, that turns me on.