Face Slapping, and my changing reactions

[_ID_]

I've played with a safeword, and without. To me it's all a matter of how well I know the sub. Take it or leave it. If your comfortable without, then stay without.

Back on topic.

I love to face slap, same as I like to punch. I just enjoy the taboo breaking act of it. Not to mention it causes a humiliation and breaking of emotions on her part. If your having fun doing it. Just have fun exploring the whys, and when you figure out why you like it. Let that be the reason it continues, cause in the end, your still liking it.

Have fun!

[Polaris]

I don't want to wave the SSC flag in here too much, but I, too, would adivse the use of a safe-word -- especially as you are new and just beginning to explore. There are not only physical limits, there are also mental and emotional ones...and you can quickly find yourself in a situation that stresses you out no end. Doms are no mind-readers, and sometimes there simply is not enough in your reaction to really draw conclusions whether you are still okay or not...especially if it's a little, harmless thing. Anyway, just my two cents -- when I started out it was with a long-term partner, we knew each other very well and I didn't want a safe-word either (he insisted on one though, God bless him). So I should probably just keep my mouth shut

As for the face-slapping. Face-slapping started out as a no-no for me, but moved on from there to the list of things I don't particularly like, but can handle. It has no erotic value for me, and mostly it makes me grumpy, but shut up -- so you can guess the occasions I usually get slapped

Sometimes the most bothersome thing about BDSM-experiences is the reaction to them. I struggled often in the past when things happened pretty quickly, and I still struggle at times now when I experience something new and, at least to me, something that is close to or beyond a limit. I believe it is a learning journey -- learning about your limits, and mostly learning about yourself -- and, step-by-step integrating what you have learned. This is tough, emotional work at times, but I think it always pays off.

When I cried for the first time -- and I don't really know why I did actually, it was just this overflow of emotions that is hard to explain -- I tried to hide it because I thought that he would stop if he'd notice, and I didn't want him to stop (mostly because I was okay, and could have used me...safeword...if necessary). When we talked about it, it turned out that he HAD noticed. Three days after that it turned out that it had turned him on. It was a lot to swallow for both of us, and I kept shifting around the 'problem' in my mind for quite a while. There are these questions that pop up "How can I let him do that?" "Why didn't I stop it?" "Why did he enjoy it" etc. -- but also questions like "Where is this going to end?" "How much further will this go?" It took a lot of conversations and a lot of thought on my side to finally accept it as it is -- I like it, I want it, and it's perfectly okay.

So, what I'm trying to say is that -- at least for me, and maybe you feel similarly -- BDSM related things can be very, very emotionally straining (and that's not a bad thing per se). Sometimes it takes a little while to come to terms with things and yourself -- that's nothing to worry about. Take the time to process the feelings, talk a lot with each other and it will be fine. At least this recipe always worked out for me