First steps

[Polaris]

Well, you know -- if I were a dom, I'd be pretty damn proud of you. I'm sure it took a lot of courage to be honest about your feelings, and the fact that things were moving too fast and/or in a different direction for you.

I'm honestly sorry that things didn't work out for you (yet). I followed this thread with my fingers crossed, and now that it didn't work out properly I send you a big bunch of hugs. I know it's easier said than done, but don't let it bring you down -- I'm sure there is somebody out there who is just perfect for you, and who can value and appreciate the wonderful person you are.

[Echoes]

I am kinda curious why you arent sure if you would wear the lingerie or not actually. Lots of women I know love to wear nice lingerie if not for their significant other but for themselves. They love the feeling of knowing what beautiful and/or sexy things they have on underneath.

and.. has your prospect Dom has been in touch with you yet?
Keeping in touch is important in any relationship imho, D/s or not.

I can wear it at home during the day for myself but this gets kind of cool and in some ways reminds me that I am alone and have been, which is also the reason that I don’t cyber or do on line. The kind of “hurting and yearning so badly to be touched when you haven’t been for so many years” feeling and it is just best to shut it off.

Yes he was in touch but it is over now.

Thank you Logic1

Well said Logic1 and Echoes - have fun

thank you suchaminx…hugs

I hope you have someone to talk to privately, Echoes. And if not, my email address is in my profile. Feel free to use it at any time.

jeanne

thanks hon, contact me anytime you wish also.

echoes

So... even though he is back in contact, I encourage you strongly to find out why the absence and to set the expectation now of what you wish. You may be the sub and you certainly don't want to top from the bottom but there has to be a mutual understanding about some things... this being one of them imho. Otherwise, it is possible that this, continued in the long term, will change your level of respect for him and hurt any type of relationship... be it romantic or friendship.

thanks annie, this is very true, it did hurt and also set doubt within my mind which only leads to lowering of respect and trust.

Hugging you back tight!

A dear and trusted friend can make all the difference in the world. ~smiles~

My PM and email are open as well, should you want/need them.

Thank you also Tessa, hugs

[/color]

Why not now? You are an amazing woman and should be seeing that for yourself.

~huggles for echoes~
tessa

well, I at least would love to see how the darn lingerie looks like on me!

Moving from the fantasy of submission to the reality of it... can be confusing. Even if your partner does everything (or nearly everything) correctly. Because it's all new territory for you.

So yes, it really pays to have someone who can be a confidant.

Confusing for sure, even scary…am I doing this right? He is not here to see me do this, I have never done this before…will I harm myself or do something wrong, leave it on too long, and so on.

Thanks Oz

[Echoes]

So you learned something... but you are still swinging on that emotional pendulum. Do you really think if you let it simmer a while you won't want to chuck it all... and may still meet someone who will complement your needs.

I hope you stick around.

Oz I apologize, I meant the site where I placed my ad, not here.

I haven’t placed an ad here because just about everyone is so far away or taken

My heart goes out to you hun, but I was pleased to see that you are staying. It is a times like these having people who have experienced what you are going through right now really helps.

So stay, vent, chat, cry, laugh - whatever you feel like and know that we will share it with you

love and hugs minxy xx

Bah, you will regret this as I start telling lame jokes minxy

Thanks and hugs

Yes that word is probably one of the most hurtful words out there.. disappointment...
Really hope you get back up on your feet quickly. You sure seem like a special gal

Not everyone is into real pain and especially not quickly. I am moving really slowly with my gal and seems to be working just fine. Slow introductions into the bdsm lifestyle is important if you dont know how he/she might react to all the things that is.

Wish you the best.
stick around here and take care

That’s what I was asking myself…if he had of gone slower would it have made a difference? (I think it would have) But I have no experienced answer to this and I wonder if this serious stuff shouldn’t be saved until you actually meet, not via email instructions, or perhaps if the instructions were more explicit, safe time period to do this, what to watch for etcetera.

Hugs Logic1 and thank you

Hugs. Just hugs.

Hmm with you all bound like that, just what kind of hugs are you giving tessa?

Well, you know -- if I were a dom, I'd be pretty damn proud of you. I'm sure it took a lot of courage to be honest about your feelings, and the fact that things were moving too fast and/or in a different direction for you.

I'm honestly sorry that things didn't work out for you (yet). I followed this thread with my fingers crossed, and now that it didn't work out properly I send you a big bunch of hugs. I know it's easier said than done, but don't let it bring you down -- I'm sure there is somebody out there who is just perfect for you, and who can value and appreciate the wonderful person you are.

It did, it was hard telling him this, I was hoping he would come back that we slow down
a bit and what…train me from the beginning where I told him I had never been clamped on my labia before, nor flicked, nor cropped (nothing)…they had never been tested at all and next thing I knew it was pencils, elastics and heavy pulleys on them and walking across the room 10 times. But this is past now.

Thank you Polaris and hugs back

Thanks everyone

echoes