If you equate specialty clothing to fashionable clothing and things like floggers and restraints and such to expensive dinners and theater tickets, then it is no more or less expensive than dating at the adult level. More than when you were in highschool, but not for people in the workforce.

As far as meeting people, find your local munch groups. Places where people get together for a meal and get to know each other. Most aren't for hooking up... but you get to know people and you invariably will meet someone you like or someone who knows someone perfect for you. The bdsm scene works just like any other in that regard. You just need to go where bdsm minded people tend to congregate and munches are perfect for that.

One thing leads to another and you will find out about events, seminars, support groups, and the occassional party.