anal

[subserviant]

Much talked about is anal sex i wonder if as many women actualy doit as its talked about .Do all masters demand it from their subs and should subs submit even if it does not exactly thill them afterall it is a part of being submissive . should it be used for punishmnent ?

[tired.of.vanilla{DJ}]

I have never done it..but I have a vanilla lesbian partner in real life...so I am not sure how often it's really done, but I imagine more than you would think and less than porn would potray. If it is a hard limit than it should never be broken. Never. But if it's a soft limit *like it would be for me* than slowing working up to it would be the way to really handle things. Starting with gentle finger pushes and then working your way up to small then larger plugs...then a cock would be the way to go in my thoughts anyway. If it is a soft limit and your Master wishes it...then I personally would go out of my way to train myself to love it, for pleasing him would please me in the long run.
NO it shoud not be used as punishment...particularly before you are very very used to it. Otherwise it would be very close to rape....and yes that is a strong word for it, but doing anything that is beyond what YOU have given permission to do is rape...Master or not. But rape I mean ONLY if it a hard limit!
But for example, if my Mistress PRO DOM asked me to push a soft limit on anal *a bigger plug for example, I would to please her. Personally I am curious about anal and would not want it ruined by making it a punishment.

[delish]

This is only my opinion, and I can only base it off my own experiences.
Anal sex is a huge bugaboo for me in a lot of ways. My husband (who is also owns me) knows this. It excites him, for a lot of reasons- and, sincerely, most of them not selfish reasons.
We do have anal sex and anal sex-play. For the most part, it thrills me. I sometimes love it and sometimes hate it, but it never fails to thrill in some manner. He has not thus far used it as punishment, though there have been implications that it could be used as such, but not to my detriment. I do not know how often other people have anal sex, but I'm quite sure other people do.

I cannot think of even one sweeping statement that I'd be able to say allMasters/Mistresses demand from the one(s) they own. This lifestyle is highly personalized. So I do not believe all Masters would require anal sex.

Your last question... "Should subs submit..." is one that I will give a rather standardized answer to any question that begins that way: If it is actually detrimental to the sub's well being (mental, physical, emotional, etc), absolutely not. Here's why you should draw that line: If it's causing you damage and you are not communicating that, then you are damaging his/her most precious property.

If it is just uncomfortable or not thrilling or the sub isn't getting anything out of it, then that depends wildly on the nature of your relationship and is probably (again, depending on the nature of the relationship) something that should be discussed between the two.

I know, that's not the sexy answer, but it's how I've found things work out in my own life.

I have to respectfully disagree with likening anal sex as punishment to rape, at least the way it was phrased above. To me, that is akin to likening spanking to abuse. Unless the anal sex is damaging and the sub has made it clear that for whatever reason, he/she cannot handle it (ie; it's a limit, hard or soft), I think it is a completely valid punishment. I say that with the understanding that punishment must be handled correctly- it must be for the right reasons. If the submissive is ultimately harmed on a basic level, not fortified, by the punishment, then whatever it is, it can easily become abuse. To me, though, it's all about communication. Unless I tell my husband (via safeword or otherwise), I don't expect him to distinguish my "No! No! No! nonono! Stop!" that just comes out naturally, from my actual need for him to stop. Does that make sense?

[Ozme52]

Personally (only slightly off topic) I don't think any sex-play should be used to punish a real transgression.

If that's a huge turn on for either party, then incorporate it into a role-play. Nothing wrong with the reluctant _____-girl getting ass-fucked by her ______-lord for spilling his wine (or whatever.)

But not in reality. Any physical punishment I wield would be something she truly dislikes and I take no pleasure in doing. Otherwise I'd end up looking for excuses to punish her and she would come to despise me, and rightfully so.

Anything she dislikes (but isn't a limit) which she knows I like... well she gives me that willingly. I get both the physical pleasure and the knowledge she does it solely for my pleasure. She gets to revel in her emotional submission doing the unpleasant task for me. (Does that make sense?)

[Ozme52]

As to the specific questions.

Much talked about is anal sex i wonder if as many women actualy doit as its talked about .Do all masters demand it from their subs

No, I am not particularly enamoured with anal sex and never require it. That said, I'm very much into it right now because my girl gifted me sole use of her ass. And that appealed to me. Especially as when I take that gift her reaction is unique. She says she feels extremely submissive and used when I take her. And I must admit, it is not only quite heady... but just a little addictive.

and should subs submit even if it does not exactly thill them afterall it is a part of being submissive .

Yes, I think if it (or any body) is not a limit, then it belongs to the dominant to use as he sees fit*

should it be used for punishmnent ?

As I said above, my opinion is never... unless the dominant detests it himself and would never take pleasure from the act of punishing... but that's just me.

* ~'as he sees fit' presuming that is the nature of your D/s relationship. I can imagine different kinds of D/s where there is more "control" retained by the submissive.

[Sir_Russell]

Again Oz we agree.

Never ever use something you love as punishment, that rule is that if you want a willing sub for that act then how does it follow that she should learn to love it if it is what you use to punish her. In this case anal would quickly become unexciting for her. I tend to like it a little rough but I make damn sure she is very excited first and then once she is used to and liking anal I up it a notch or two.

Cock deep in her ass I grab a handful of hair and pull her back making her arch her back with the other hand I spank on each pull back. Later I may reach forward and grab each nipple still causing the back arch till she is spent

[jeanne]

Oz and Sir_Russell talking about anal sex and describing how it feels and how they go about it and all that and....

oh my God. I think I just had an orgasm.

Really.

[sipgirl]

Oz and Sir_Russell talking about anal sex and describing how it feels and how they go about it and all that and....

oh my God. I think I just had an orgasm.

Really.

Nods.....Laughing hysterically.
As far as the question goes. believe it or not as worldly as I am I have had anal sex only once or twice(that being an actual cock... fingers and toys yes, only a cock once or twice). It is somewhat humiliating for me which makes it all the more fun. It is something he uses to hang over my head and he often plays with the idea, but after being together as long as we have he doesnt think I am ready for it. I admit at times it is irritating and I just want him to do it and then when he tries I freak out and it just hurts too much. I have a feeling we are slowly working our way up to it....I do think it would be lovely for him to tie me face down knees bent to the bed and play with that spot all night until finally he was able to penetrate. At this point however it is a soft limit for me and he respects that.

[NightNurse]

Oz and Sir_Russell talking about anal sex and describing how it feels and how they go about it and all that and....

oh my God. I think I just had an orgasm.

Really.

Just wanted to say-
well...
umm-
me too...

[WyldWyl]

Personally, I love anal. Giving, receiving, even in a vanilla context, I love it. For me, I wouldn't use it as a punishment, and I don't think it would work on me. The only way it could work on me as a punishment is to stretch me past my limits and until it hurts...and that's not punishment, that's just dangerous. I don't find it humiliating or shameful, so it wouldn't work from that angle either.

Should a sub offer it if it isn't their thing? I don't know...I guess it depends on the sub and the dom in question. But if it's not a limit, I don't see that it's a problem for the dom to expect anal from his/her sub.

Just my two cents worth

[jeanne]

Just wanted to say-
well...
umm-
me too...

Heehee! Everything they write is just...wicked, isn't it? Delightfully so.

[jeanne]

I suppose now I should actually answer the original question.

Over the years I probably tried anal sex 20 times, and was successful 10 of those times. I couldn't figure out why sometimes it felt great and sometimes hurt too much to bear...same amount of lube, same position...no clue.

When I finally began to accept and integrate my submission into my life, I figured it out. Anal sex is so personal, so private, so 'dirty', and yes, painful...that my mind has to be in that submissive 'head space' to start with. Then, that feeling of pain when he first begins to push in...the fullness and ache when he's fully in my ass...I feel it from my head to my toes, like an electric charge throughout my whole body, and the feeling of utter submission grows and grows and I never want it to end.

It's even better when He ties my hands behind my back. And whispers in my ear, "You'll do anything for me, won't you?" And I can only say yes, and beg for more.
Harder. Deeper. Please.

[J-Go]

I suppose now I should actually answer the original question.

Over the years I probably tried anal sex 20 times, and was successful 10 of those times. I couldn't figure out why sometimes it felt great and sometimes hurt too much to bear...same amount of lube, same position...no clue.

When I finally began to accept and integrate my submission into my life, I figured it out. Anal sex is so personal, so private, so 'dirty', and yes, painful...that my mind has to be in that submissive 'head space' to start with. Then, that feeling of pain when he first begins to push in...the fullness and ache when he's fully in my ass...I feel it from my head to my toes, like an electric charge throughout my whole body, and the feeling of utter submission grows and grows and I never want it to end.

It's even better when He ties my hands behind my back. And whispers in my ear, "You'll do anything for me, won't you?" And I can only say yes, and beg for more.
Harder. Deeper. Please.

Gulp quiver-
Whew...um OK focus Danielson

Not allot of experience for me either but as far as the act goes I've found the idea is often more exciting than the actual event...unless my partner enjoys it. Botom line, I'm into it if my partner is.

[Sir_Russell]

jeanne,

I guess I forgot to say how much I love it when she comes to me and begs me to take her ass, it isn't quite as good as when we are all ready in play and she begs for it but I still like it.

I came home one day after work and trish met me at the front door did her greeting dressed as she was supposed to be in our home. Such a lovely sight and then she gave me a drink while I settled into my large overstuffed chair. She had only two week before offered her ass to me to finally make her completely mine. Since that day I had taken it 3 more times, carefully being sure that she enjoyed it all including my moans and groans of delight as I spewed my seeds deep into her ass.

This day, as was my custom I sat in my chair to relax before I took my shower, she handed me my drink kneeled at my feet and began undressing me, which was our custom.

I was erect by the time I was naked (not a custom but natural) and she begged me to take her ass. This was the first time she had done that and I assumed she meant after I had cleaned myself from work. I told her that would please me greatly and took a drink. To my surprise she pulled out two bowls from under my chair and with one washed my cock and the other she rinsed it cleaned. This had never happened and came from her own lovely mind.

Next she climbed into my chair knees on each broad arm rest grabbed my neck, got her feet on the arm rests and lowered herself on to my cock.

Hmmm I just realized this should be a complete history so I will post the full story in my picture thread.

I will complete this part by saying the biggest thrill of this was when she whispered in my ear voice heavy with pleasure and excitement that she could grow to really love this.

[jeanne]

jeanne,

I guess I forgot to say how much I love it when she comes to me and begs me to take her ass, it isn't quite as good as when we are all ready in play and she begs for it but I still like it.

I came home one day after work and trish met me at the front door did her greeting dressed as she was supposed to be in our home. Such a lovely sight and then she gave me a drink while I settled into my large overstuffed chair. She had only two week before offered her ass to me to finally make her completely mine. Since that day I had taken it 3 more times, carefully being sure that she enjoyed it all including my moans and groans of delight as I spewed my seeds deep into her ass.

This day, as was my custom I sat in my chair to relax before I took my shower, she handed me my drink kneeled at my feet and began undressing me, which was our custom.

I was erect by the time I was naked (not a custom but natural) and she begged me to take her ass. This was the first time she had done that and I assumed she meant after I had cleaned myself from work. I told her that would please me greatly and took a drink. To my surprise she pulled out two bowls from under my chair and with one washed my cock and the other she rinsed it cleaned. This had never happened and came from her own lovely mind.

Next she climbed into my chair knees on each broad arm rest grabbed my neck, got her feet on the arm rests and lowered herself on to my cock.

Hmmm I just realized this should be a complete history so I will post the full story in my picture thread.

I will complete this part by saying the biggest thrill of this was when she whispered in my ear voice heavy with pleasure and excitement that she could grow to really love this.

Wow.

I've thought it often...I'll just go ahead and say it...

If I didn't already have the perfect One for me Sir_Russell, I'd be hoping to catch your attention. Actually, I'd be working very hard to catch your attention!

[Wedjat]

I have a couple of comments here. When we were discussing this particular subject, a gentleman friend once made the comment that for anal sex "you should use enough lube, and then a little bit more". I would wager that anyone who has had it done TO them is going to understand that comment perfectly. Once an individual can relax at the very first entry - the most painful part (I take deep breaths) - what follows can be fantastic. I have had one occasion where it did hurt more than it should for no good reason that I could see. Like everything else, everybody is different, but I think that in this case it is very much one's mental state about it that's going to make it good or bad.

Oh, and jeanne, I agree totally about Sir Russell. Now if he only didn't live 1000 miles away- darned Rockies. : )

[Sir_Russell]

Ladies,
I love anal and about the only time I am not thinking about going into her ass is if I want to finish in her mouth. I find the idea of taking her ass and then having her mouth me clean to be very thrilling but then common sense takes over, disease, just her being sick from the thought and then there is thought of kissing her after that.

That all being said I would never do that even if it was punishment, (strikes me as real punishment) but if she ever did that I know I would be thrilled beyond caring about the rest of it. Funny but true.

[Wedjat]

probably the vomiting would kill the mood

[Logic1]

probably the vomiting would kill the mood

lmao
yeah I can imagine that

other than that. I completely agree with Russel here.

[Whippett]

^ ^^ Same here - anal is wonderful - partly because it is complete submission of her body to me - but - to prevent the possibility of disease - it's the one place I wear a condom always. Which means finishing in my girl's mouth is "technically" ass to mouth - but the condom comes off before I part her lips with my cock. Scat in any form is definitely not my thing - and with the condom - I can enjoy the best of all worlds (ass and mouth - sometimes with a detour via the pussy) in safety and with out going where I have no intention of taking my girl.

And, as others have mentioned - I never use what we both find pleasurable as punishment. Doing so doesn't work for me.

[Sir_Russell]

wedjat,

I would never insist or even suggest that she do this, if she took it upon herself though I would have a hard time stopping her was all I was saying. Some fantasies will never be fufilled and that that is a good thing.

I also do not apologize for the few fantasies that I have not fufilled since most are like this one way to risky to ask of anyone.

[Wedjat]

Thank you Sir - had me worried for a bit. I guess I'll just never understand that particular fantasy (and don't really care to!), but then I probably have some you wouldn't care for either : )

[johnislucy]

I

[johnislucy]

I am 55 male sub. I hate anal sex. I get spank first if i'm good that day. If bad i get spanked while we do it. There has been times i've had nipple clamps on and waxed while having anal.Hate yes.. But to please my Mistress. Yes please do me. I'm going to be real bad this week. Binghamton ny

[gemmy]

interesting.....not many female responses on this one *smiles*

i personally do love anal and always have, it falls second to only one other act for me but finding men who actually enjoy doing it has been my biggest hurdle

for me everything about a Man coming up behind me puts me into an immediate submissive head space, leaning back into Him as He kisses and bites my neck, His hand coming around the front of me, holding my throat ever so lightly as He pulls me hard against Him gets me instantly writhing and wanting

as jeanne says above, it doesn't always work out without an uncomfortable pain but i've learned a few things help this along nicely;

- a cleansing enema takes away any worries of something distasteful ruining the mood
- the headspace thing - being in the zone so to speak relaxes you completely, your submission and desire to please soon will have you aching for it
- the deep personal connection there is in this particular act goes a step further in relaxing otherwise tight and tense muscles and really relaxation and enjoyment are the key fundamentals here and Lubricate! lol

this can be such a wildly erotic and animalistic act when both sides are fully engaged and let the heat of it wash over them and truly for a submissive, on your knees, head down, ass up, fully open to His pleasure.....is there anything sexier? hehe

gem,
xo

[icey]

Much talked about is anal sex i wonder if as many women actualy doit as its talked about .Do all masters demand it from their subs and should subs submit even if it does not exactly thill them afterall it is a part of being submissive . should it be used for punishmnent ?

i cant speak for other girls but i love it, i dont use lube well not from a jar anyway lol although sometimes i can be a bit more tense than others.

for punisment no way! why punish somebody with something they love?

if he/she doesnt like anal then its generally because their too tense and forcing it upon them (which is what it would be really) can be dangerous.
any form of sex imo should never be used as punishment i think it could cause a lot of damage emotionally as well as physically.

[Sir_Russell]

mastersgem,

Okay, I will ask what is the first act that you have trouble finding a willing man for?

[Cool Luke's Hand]

Looks like this topic has been fairly well discussed already, so I'm just going to echo a couple of people when they say that anal sex definitely shouldn't be used as punishment. Using any type of sex as punishment (be it type, position, method) is just going down a very dangerous road, and if it's not done properly, then...yeah, I think you probably all get the picture. I personally have had little experience in it beyond what I can do myself with a couple of household objects, so take this opinion with a grain of salt.

[gemmy]

mastersgem,

Okay, I will ask what is the first act that you have trouble finding a willing man for?

*blushes* oh i don't have trouble find willing men for that first act *giggles*

tis only in finding men in my conservative world wanting anal sex or alternative sex period for that matter lol

signed,

sick of missionary

lol

[Gr1m'sGirl]

I've only tried anal once, and I didn't enjoy it very much that time. I was nervous and tense, and it just hurt too badly to continue.

I would be willing to try it again if He wished to, but I'm not sure it's something I'd ever offer out of the blue.

<3