Well, this was a good little piece you put together. There are a bunch of typos you missed that the Level Boss will get to, no doubt. I will skate most of those and just offer a few stylistic comments. I get to these a little bit harsher in the higher levels. At any rate, a few suggestions on phrasing and keeping things live...

"Not long now," Francine sighed. She couldn't get him mind off Friday. Two days, and her Master would come at last. Her mind a jumble of images: naked, collared, chained, as Master pierced her clitoris her nipples, whipped. She sighed again.
In this bit I would suggest throwing a "was" into her mind being a jumble of images. I would also add an adjective...or is it adverb? An "excited jumble" would have brought more life to that sentence. You also have a tendency to use pronouns to start a sentence. You need to get out of that habit. "She" starting a sentence more than once in a paragraph sort of dulls things. The final sentence in the quoted paragraph worked quite well because it flashed the longing in a simple and concise form.

"Whipped, oh yes." She breathed. It was her stop.
Comma after the yes and no capitalizing "she" would be correct. Also, "It was her stop" was sort of middling as far as a phrase to close on. Maybe she should "suddenly realize" that her stop was at hand. Maybe she should be "jerked into the now" when the chime for her stop sounded. It would certainly point out that she was day dreaming about her master.

Francine pushed through the wet commuters to the door. She dodged aside as groping fingers brushed her thigh.
This would be better served with your preferred comma and put into one sentence, making it "dodging" and not dodged. It would certainly liven it up and make it less passive. It would also eliminate another pronoun.

The rain pelted harder, Francine pulled her thin coat tighter against her slender body as she stepped from the bus.
This should be two sentences or it should have a modifier in here. "The rain pelted harder, prompting Francine...". This is also a great opportunity to describe the rain and enhance her forlorn longing for what was to come. Rain is an excellent metaphor for so many things like that. Maybe you could tell us about the "great sheets of rain adding to her melancholy" or some such.

The rain soaked her to the skin. She shivered at the chill of the winter rain, and dashed for home, sidestepping the puddles.
This was a fair treatment but it could have said so much more. It peters out on "puddles", though. Also, it could do with a bit of rearranging. My penchant would be to show her shivering and then to tell why. Then give something more of the puddles. These, too, could reflect her mood.

A plain white van blocked the sidewalk in front of the six-suite apartment block she called home. Francine stepped onto the grass to get around it.
This sentence seemed more of a means to an end than something that fit in with the story. It also petered out with her stepping on to the grass. It could have been one sentence and she could have been irritated at having to step into wet grass.

"A plain white van blocked the sidewalk in front of the six-suite apartment block she called home, forcing her to step into the water bearing grass to reach her domicile" Then give a note of irritation or frustration at having to do so.

Anyhow, that's it.