Quote Originally Posted by Aesop
Bondage: Being tied up or restrained. Yep I do that to her. Sadism:Taking pleasure in inflicting pain upon another person. Yep I enjoy inflicting pain on her. Masochism: Taking pleasure in having pain inflicted upon oneself. Yep she enjoys it as much (if not more) than I do. Domination is perhaps the only one that is open to debate because she does initially agree to give up the control. But once the decision is made the control belongs to me and I use it for my pleasure so I don't know that I can call that false or an imitation.
While the three activities you mention are all physical and hence one does or not do them, certainly most people I know in BDSM part take in these activities with a consenting partner as a substitute for (in their fantasies at least) of doing them without a consenting partner. The woman I tie up and gag and many of her friends who enjoy similar, say it is an activity they fantasize about and wouldn't like it to happen to them for 'real'. Hence why I described such activities as ersatz.

I readily accept that is not the whole picture. My interest in shibari is as much to do with my interest in the craft and its aesthetics and while the process has the affect of giving my sub a high, there is one part of my liking for bondage (in my fantasy at least) to tie up an unwilling woman as is the fantasy of my sub to be tied up by a malicious male.