Your post is filled with red flags for me, Cadence. I know you approached this Dom initially, but it seems he has taken your request and twisted it to his own means. You opened the door a crack and he's barging in, so to speak.

I'm new to The Lifestye myself so I guess I don't know "the rules", but I really would have to wonder about a Dom that so blatently crosses the line into another Dom's "territory." I mean, my neighbor may be a race car driver but that doesn't mean he can grab my Caddy and take it for a spin anytime.

I'm not so sure this is a matter of being "agressive" in your response, per se, simply repeat what you were/are looking for and ask if this couple is interested. It's a yes or no question, you don't have to "reason." This guy is not your Dom, and no amount of peacock strutting gives him the right to make demands of you. If he pursues, just tell him you will put him in touch with your Dom.

And I would discuss this with your Dom. At least tell him about it -- not so much so he can do anything about it, but just so he's in the loop as to issues that are causing his sub concern.