Hello everyone, I'm glad this place exists!

Let me start with (what I perceive to be) the negatives, and move on to the positives (again, as *I* see them), and then into grey areas and questions.

I am 51, some might think that's too old to begin discovering bdsm. I am also overweight, but it's nicely distributed, I think. I am on the quiet side, and I think a lot, and I plan things...I rarely act on impulse alone.

I have lived all my life in southern CA, but I'm moving to England in September to study for a career change. I'll see if I want to live the rest of my life there. My family is here and I love them, but America sucks. I'm saying that now cos I could NEVER fuck a Republican.

Over the past 4+ years I've developed a relationship with a man in England (C). It started vanilla, and to please me he has indulged my submissive side and brought out his dominant side. We are close, but he's married, and I'm 99% certain he'll never leave his wife.

I want a life partner who is very open to sexual experiences and will grow and explore with me, but because he won't leave his wife I don't see how it can be him. I hope that thru this introduction I might meet some friendly personalities who understand what it's like to want to be submissive to a creative, fun-loving, kind, confident and filthy man. I also hope to understand myself better, too! My expectations might be naive.

Is this the right place to talk about themes and activities I enjoy? Or are there other threads for that? I haven't browsed around a lot yet. I'll just say that I like men and women, with a slight preference for men when we're one-on-one. When I'm with a couple, I prefer to play mostly with the other woman. My sister is gay, but I don't think I am, in spite of never lasting for more than 7-8 years with any one man.

As far as bdsm experiences, I've talked on the phone with a two men, and on line with several others, but I never hooked up with anyone because I thought C and I were "it". Do people in the lifestyle usually have a steady partner, or is there a lot of getting together just for the sexual experience? I have a lot to learn! I want a long-term partner who relishes filthy sex, but I'm not sure how to get there.

That's it for tonite.