There have been some great posts to this thread, and what I keep thinking as I read each POV is that everyone, although saying different things, IS RIGHT. It truly is what works best for each relationship and partner.

As I mentioned, I had a brief relationship with a partner nearly 30 years my senior. All aspects of our relationship were marvelous, but I knew deep down that I would not have felt comfortable having kids with him nor would I have felt that I could have gotten the full experience out of being a partner and wife to him that I deserved -- I want to build a life with someone, not step into an already completed project. I just knew in my heart that even if the future held nothing but the best under the circumstances, I had missed that proverbial bus.

With J and I, the 17 year split is still a factor, but not one that seems impossible to cope with. Under optimum circumstances I know there will still be challenges and sacrifices, but I'm more than willing to take those on. Under not-so-optimum circumstances, well, no one can plan for those, can they?

Long story short, understand what you're getting into and take he time to consider what you truly will and will not be able to deal with.