oh, thank you both for your replies, lily27, trust me, i trust my gut, and i'm never afraid of asking for help. That is why i posted here, too, because i knew y'all would give a helping hand. Neither i am afraid to leave the relationship, i may be many things but not a victim. And well, because i think part of me is ready to put an end to it, that's why i'm choosing to do so now that i'm going back home, so i can return to england after easter and not have him/it on my mind.
thank you both