oh thank you for your concern theldaystouch, but although he might scare me at times, i doubt he would ever do me physical harm, the emotional factor i'll have to overcome. And as for being alone, it won't happen, back home i live with my mum, so that's where it's going to be done. but, truly, i appreciate it, and you're right about the abuse part. I guess if i didn't know it deep down i wouldn't have mentioned it in the first place.. *sighs*