Here's just a friendly question Bipolar. Do you think perhaps that you're making excuses for him? Which is a very submissive thing to do. Also pretty classic behaviour for abused women. It sounds as all you want from us is to say that you should leave him? If that is so, why ask? Why not just go? You don't owe him to stay do you? If you're not feeling good about the relationship, then evaluating it is superfluous.

There's no written rule that says everything needs to be negotiated, but it helps. And if you haven't negotiated the rules of the relationship, and you feel unhappy about where it's gone... you obviously should have done it.... obviously that guy is doing the relationship thing wrong. This is not unique for BDSM relationships. This is pretty universal for all relationships, love or otherwise. Him being naturally dominant means that he should make sure he's making you happy.