Sorry that you had to have the experiences that you did icey.

In my relationship, I consider myself to be a service submissive. We don't do anything that involves BDSM, and well, we really aren't practicing any D/s. If you ask my boyfriend, he assumes I do things because I like him, he doesn't care to make an effort to understand anything else.
Since I know that I am submissive, I make it work for me within my relationship however I can.
It's hard enough to talk about that here, let alone tell my friends about why I act or do the things I do.

Since my friends label my boyfriend as an asshole, and myself as a doormat, it is near to impossible to explain anything. I don't even bother anymore, I let them get whatever they want to say to me out of thier system and then that is that.

I do have an agressive kinky side and my friends are aware of it. They are just as kinky. None of them are into BDSM though, I pretty well know everything that they do. They love to give details. Still I wouldn't share everything with them, it isn't thier business to know everything.

I am pretty sure that if I was having kinky BDSM sex, I could explain myself and explain the lifestyle to them and they wouldn't have a problem with it.
I even know my own family would understand it as well.
But there are some things that can be divulged and then there are things that should just remain private.