What makes you submissive?

[Cool Luke's Hand]

I also realize that it would be idiotic to assume that something like a rubber fetish or love of high heels could be genetic.

How so? When broken down to the most basic level, homosexuality is nothing more than a fetish for having sex with members of the same sex (just as heterosexuality is the opposite and asexuality seems to be the lack of either), and since there's now a growing view that homosexuality is the result of genetics, what's stopping one person's desire to be spanked from from being the same?

[Isabella King]

I pinched this from one of the links that Icy put on another thread. It made me laugh.


"If there’s an illness, there’s a website where the mentally ill try desperately to justify their unhealthy fixations and actively recruit others into their sick club. Denial abounds in these people. Rather than seeking help, they, safely huddled together with their own kind, celebrate their own depravity and try to build a “lifestyle” out of disorder."

This seemed as good a place as any to drop it

[Cool Luke's Hand]

"If there’s an illness, there’s a website where the mentally ill try desperately to justify their unhealthy fixations and actively recruit others into their sick club. Denial abounds in these people. Rather than seeking help, they, safely huddled together with their own kind, celebrate their own depravity and try to build a “lifestyle” out of disorder."

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

[slave eswn]

That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

yes it is pretty dumb, and since i don't play well with ignorance, let's just not got there...

[casie1124]

Ah the nature or nurture question....

For me I can remember being quite young and playing with the kids in my neighborhood with the other kids. When playing, the other little girls would fight over who would be the princess that day, I on the other hand always wanted to be the prince's servant .
I fantasied about being controlled and other various things at a very young age, before they were sexually arousing.
Though through life I found my self in some pretty nasty situations. Some I must admit I put myself in because I didn't realize there was a healthy way to act out my feelings, others by peer dumb luck. Though I believe some of those situations furthered my desire for submission

I do believe that it solely depends on the submissive in question. In my experiences many submissive people I have had contact with have been in abusive situations. I throughly believe a lot of those situations were brought about by not realizing their true nature and seeking out people to fulfill their needs in unhealthy ways. Then there are some that simply became so use to being submissive in situations completely out of their control that they truly need some form of submission to feel whole and complete they don't know how to function otherwise, stumbled on this wonderful world of bdsm and found a healthy way their needs could be met and hopefully have found or will find someone to help them work through their issues. I've also met submissive people who have never experienced anything other than consensual abuse. It's truly an individual situation, not one size fits all.

Casie

[TomOfSweden]

I pinched this from one of the links that Icy put on another thread. It made me laugh.


"If there’s an illness, there’s a website where the mentally ill try desperately to justify their unhealthy fixations and actively recruit others into their sick club. Denial abounds in these people. Rather than seeking help, they, safely huddled together with their own kind, celebrate their own depravity and try to build a “lifestyle” out of disorder."

This seemed as good a place as any to drop it

he he funny. The funniest thing is that it's so revealing about the person writing it. Fetish for hate?

[icey]

he he funny. The funniest thing is that it's so revealing about the person writing it. Fetish for hate?

except he's not supposed to hate he's a preacher lol i found it funny but also a bit frightening too.

like anyone else i wouldnt want to be called broken or 'made' by anyone either but i still believe that our experiences as well as genetics , social environments etc all play a part in what forms and shapes us. how can it not?

[TomOfSweden]

except he's not supposed to hate he's a preacher lol i found it funny but also a bit frightening too.

Reading a book doesn't mean you automatically understand what the author was trying to say.

[icey]

i read quite a few different rantings and ravings of his on many different subjects and forums most of them seem to have disappeared ...anything regarding different lifestyles sexuality and such and he was saying exactly the same things each time,so im fairly sure i got his drift lol

but maybe experiences from his past led him to his beliefs and personality,cos you have to wonder exactly where he got those strong feelings from!

[TomOfSweden]

i read quite a few different rantings and ravings of his on many different subjects and forums most of them seem to have disappeared ...anything regarding different lifestyles sexuality and such and he was saying exactly the same things each time,so im fairly sure i got his drift lol

but maybe experiences from his past led him to his beliefs and personality,cos you have to wonder exactly where he got those strong feelings from!

I was talking about the preachers comprehension of the Bible.

[moet369]

I am submissive because that is me. I have read the posts on the thread and find them quite intersting as to how people end up being submissive. I on the other hand have not had any abouse in my life and grew up with a pretty "normal" childhood. I grew up the way I am now, which is naturally, and happily submissive. I never talked much in school and shied away from people that were aggressive not because of any other reason except that, that was me. I used to find myself apologizing for everything I would do, Including my presence in rooms, which I did belong but found myself not to "fit". Submission for me is a way of life that I have grown to appreciate. It has drawn me to other lengths in my life that I find quite interesting. For instance, I joined the Army. I find being here that I take orders much easier than my counterparts. Sorry for writing so long.

[rooshoe]

Submission for me is a way of life that I have grown to appreciate. It has drawn me to other lengths in my life that I find quite interesting. For instance, I joined the Army. I find being here that I take orders much easier than my counterparts. Sorry for writing so long.

Wow, you too? Lol i thought i was the only one who did/noticed that. Also, i always wondered, when i looked around, how many people standing in formation next to me had closeted kinks..

[Always_Rockin]

I have known that I was submissive since I was 15 when I started having sex. I always wanted it harder, rougher, kinkier. I wanted to be tied up and called names; along with all of my countless other fantasies. I had a completely normal childhood, no abuse of any kind, but I have always needed to be Dominated and controlled.

[RedHotKinky]

"If there’s an illness, there’s a website where the mentally ill try desperately to justify their unhealthy fixations and actively recruit others into their sick club. Denial abounds in these people. Rather than seeking help, they, safely huddled together with their own kind, celebrate their own depravity and try to build a “lifestyle” out of disorder."

Ha ha, what a fantastic quote... especially the bit about celebrating depravity!!!

Personally I am convinced that people can be born submissive/Dominant, just as people are born gay/straight/bi etc.

I have had bondage and submissive fantasies for as long as I can remember, and often practised self-bondage as a child. I have never been abused, mentally or physically, and had a very happy childhood. I have always been submissive, I have always known I have been submissive (even though I didn't fully understand as a child), and I am proud of what I am.

[mastersbirdie]

well I am definatly a submissive I suffered severe abuse that has left me with ptsd but I am working through it. I was molested from age2 until age 17 when I got married I was also sodomized by my grandfather at 14. my marriage was very abusive but is over now. I hated the abuse but I had fantasies about forced sex and having some in control of me. Since I have met my new master he is wonderful there is a lot of bondage and sex. I am his collered slave but there is no abuse I consent to everything. Having the right to consent matters to me. my abuse did not make me a submissive my free choice did. Its what I am.

[TomOfSweden]

How so? When broken down to the most basic level, homosexuality is nothing more than a fetish for having sex with members of the same sex (just as heterosexuality is the opposite and asexuality seems to be the lack of either), and since there's now a growing view that homosexuality is the result of genetics, what's stopping one person's desire to be spanked from from being the same?

I was being specific about just those things. Rubber and high heels. I'm not going to rule out the possibility that there are qualities in rubber that speak to some base animal desire. I can come up with a long list of qualities in both rubber and high heels that could be candidates to set off genetic triggers. But we quickly run into very dodgy territory. So I didn't mean there aren't any. It would just be wrong to make assumptions.

Most of these genetic triggers aren't even logical. Red lips is a great example. And one which there's actually been research on. Young people have darker colours of red and more full lips. So if everything else is the same, who ever has the fullest and darkest red lips we're going to assume is the youngest no matter how bizarre the lips have been painted and how much the lip-stick is painted outside the lips. It seems like no matter how much we know it's just fake, we cannot see past this. Our instincts make us helpless in avoiding this judgemental error.

Being sexually attracted to youth seems to be some kind of base make-up of all humans. So we're more likely to be turned on by people sporting "whore-make-up" no matter how much we know it's just fake, and no matter how much it offends cultural conditioning, as might be the case with transvestites.

ok, long legs.... I guess.... high heels isn't so strange.

But rubber!!! It's the most fake and unnatural thing I can imagine. That's a large part of why I like it. It offends everything natural. Drives me insane with lust. ....it's getting hot in here.... but ... I cannot see how that can be anything but learned behaviour. But again, I'm no expert. I doubt anybody in the whole world is!!! This isn't exactly a big field of study today

[sub-timmi]

How so? When broken down to the most basic level, homosexuality is nothing more than a fetish for having sex with members of the same sex (just as heterosexuality is the opposite and asexuality seems to be the lack of either), and since there's now a growing view that homosexuality is the result of genetics, what's stopping one person's desire to be spanked from from being the same?

I have to agree with Luke here - I a Bi male and a sub. what I need is the total hand-over of control to a Dom/me. anything like punshment etc. is only a phisical demonstration of this.
I also agree with "Mastersgem" regarding postion of authority held during 'Vanilla' Times - I have held very senior postions in some global companies. It is the power thing that does it for me not an abusive background etc. though without any research to back up my thought that this may be the case for most male subs.
Hope not to upset to many but thats my penny worth on this